Hello Dhaaarlings...
Princess was recently invited to meet with some local newlyweds after being overheard singing one of my favourite songs while waiting in the checkout queue at the local supermarket...
You know the one I'm talking about... "Some day my Prince will come.... la la la la la la" when I was suddenly tapped on the shoulder... I turned to see that the tapper was a youngish looking woman... wearing a slightly soiled blue dress... shoddy glass shoes... lank and lustreless "bottle blonde" hair atopped by a slightly askew tiara...
"Hey Prinshesh, Hate to be the one to tell ya... but that shong is a load of crap..." she slurred... loading the last six bottles of vodka... making 12 in total and a rather large jar of olives onto the counter behind me...
"You wont be be shorry... come meet a few of the girls over drinks with me and shee for yourshelf"
You know the one I'm talking about... "Some day my Prince will come.... la la la la la la" when I was suddenly tapped on the shoulder... I turned to see that the tapper was a youngish looking woman... wearing a slightly soiled blue dress... shoddy glass shoes... lank and lustreless "bottle blonde" hair atopped by a slightly askew tiara...
"Hey Prinshesh, Hate to be the one to tell ya... but that shong is a load of crap..." she slurred... loading the last six bottles of vodka... making 12 in total and a rather large jar of olives onto the counter behind me...
"You wont be be shorry... come meet a few of the girls over drinks with me and shee for yourshelf"
Is it just me? or were they not all supposed to live happily ever after...
I think I'll sue the Disney Chanel...
We think of their stories as fairytales, yet the terrible truth is plain to see...
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I tell you miss Scarlet... I was quite shocked...
DeleteAll my illusions are now shattered...
Oh please, you know they are all miserable bitches behind there men's backs, and probably a few of them sluts.
ReplyDeleteMaddie Darling... You should have seen that Bitch "Snow White"
Deleteblush when I asked her how old her "7 little ones" were and what she did with them all day...
Do these count as damsels in distress? I'm always looking for one at the Ren Faire!
ReplyDeleteJust pop on a cloak and a crown Mr Lax and i'm sure you would be "In like Flynn" with any of this lot!
DeleteDisney was a terrible man and a bigoted asshole. I prefer my women empowered like Penelope Pitstop, you know she got some action...
ReplyDeleteTinkerbell was a pretty tough gal Wally...
DeletePenelope was brilliant she could drive and do he makeup at the same time!
Snow White's husband was a necroophiliac, he only fancied her because he thought she was dead. That's royalty for you! And they all lived unhappily ever after.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the confirmation Mitzi, the "redheaded fishwife" intimated as much about Snow White. She also had a similar tail to tell about Sleeping Beauty. Aparrently it was caused by a mosquito born disease and had nothing to do with rumplestiltskins little prick...
ReplyDeleteThe truth will out. Fairytales were never meant to be happy, sugar-coated affairs. Bloody Disney!
ReplyDeleteMr DeVice... you are again quite right in your summation... I now understand from my research that fairytales were originally presented as cautionary tales to prevent children from turning into little barrels of bad behaviours and from growing up with a sense of general entitlement...
DeleteDisney has done society a great disservice by adding a sugar coating to these tales of abject horror!
Perhaps his liquid nitrogen will have time to thaw before we have the technology for re-animation...
Who is going to break the news to all the little girls I see out and about in their tutus and tiaras?
ReplyDeleteDearest MJ... I believe that the best solution is to instruct parents to remove the cotton wool and let their kids experience real life... Tell them some tales of the tragic "real" lives of modern day Princesses... Dianna, Grace or even Me for that matter!
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