Seaside Adventure Series... Part 1

Hello Dhaaarlings...

Join me for a quick series of Seaside adventures from The Empress and my recent tour...

Sea world on the Gold Coast in Queensland meant that we had to travel over the border for the day.
Home to many and varied sea creatures

We had visited the attraction over 20 years ago and back then you paid your entry fee and then could visit the displays, watch the marine creatures and go on the rides at the fun park for free. These days not so much.

As we entered the park the Empress commented on how she was looking forward to seeing the water skiing exhibition with pretty and graceful ladies balancing above the water on the shoulders of some very strong gentlemen all done at speed in lovely floaty costumes whilst being towed behind a motor boat...

Imagine her dismay when we discovered that the lovely water skiers had been replaced by 6 brawny young gentlemen in very tight fitting wet suits racing about about on very noisy and splashy jet ski's going over jumps and doing tricks...
"Well, that's a disappointment" she said getting up from her seat...
"But their "costumes" are quite impressive Mother" I implored
"Well... I'm not sitting here to watch this noisy rubbish" she replied, 
"I get enough hoons going past on motorbikes every day and night at home without all the splashing" she muttered, heading off to the next attraction. 

The main attractions and rides are still for free but to see some of the newer animals and exhibits you have to pay for the up close and personal experience.

And they are not cheap. 
$50.oo to have your photo taken with a dolphin!

More money to have an encounter with a polar bear...
And certainly don't expect cheap eats...

A basic egg and lettuce sandwich - $8

150ml Bottled water - $4

Softdrink - $7- $13 

Just as well we'd packed a few snacks and bits of fruit...

So needless to say the Empress and I managed to get around to all the freebees that we could... 
Most of the rides were unsuitable for the Empress who has never been very keen on roller-coasters (of which there were 3 to choose from) and as the chair lift was closed for repairs, we settled for the monorail.

6 trips later... and we were thoroughly exhausted!

Here are some snaps of the freebees that we did manage to see...

A sad and lonely dolphin... About to undergo a training session so that it can be moved easily by it's human captors...

but a least there was a nice consolation arse to view in the process...

Which almost made up for the whole awful experience..

Come and feed the seagulls... er... I mean seals

At $10.00 for a cup of 4 sardines and a bit of squid I'd rather have mine Battered and served with Chips thanks...

Why not have a go at petting a stingray? 

(It almost worked for the crocodile man)

Or perhaps being water misted by a mechanical Leviathan as it roars at you as you go past is more your cup of tea?

No?

Well... What about being yawned at by a grumbling overgrown crocodile?

No? Me neither...

Give me a proverbial pod of pelican Any day!

Fortunately we missed the sea lion show.

I was not keen to see seals dressed as a sheriff and more seals dressed as  robbers with some wanker out the front on a microphone making out that it was some sort exciting mystery that "Sheriff Sea Lion" would solve the "Big Bank Robbery" by the end of the show. 

All this done on a stage more suited to the American Wild West theme park... 

I did say that we missed the show... but sadly on one of the loops on the monorail it just happened to stop and hover above the show for long enough to hear the overexcited wanker get louder and louder as the "Robbers" escaped by waddling through a door onto a plank and diving into the pool...

"it's all natural behavior" he shouted.

Especially when you have been born in captivity and know nothing else I thought...

We missed the morning session of the dolphin show so got back in time for the afternoon session, but sadly the batteries had died in the camera by that stage, well they died much earlier in the day and I'd left the spare set over the border...

The Empress did a lot of ooing and ahhing during the dolphin show as the dolphins sped through the water with their captors riding on there backs or leapt out of the water with one of their captors balanced on their nose and then throwing them up into the air... but thinking back she was probably complaining about the pain in her feet.

The whole place is just one big commercial promotion having been taken over by a number of large multi national companies like Cocacola, Nickelodian et al

Much of the day was spent avoiding the life sized Dora the Explorer and friends or Spongebob Squarepants and his awfully obnoxious entourage running about the grounds...

And they're still claiming to be an animal wildlife and conservation service and not just another income stream for big business...

Yeah... right