"So Long Old Friends"... Or... "You Know When It's Time To Hang Up The 'Budgie Smuggler's'"...

Hello Dhaaarlings...

I've recently been pondering the past and have been facinated by how it sometimes collides with the present causing one to come to the rather rude conclusion that...

 Long gone are my days of wearing my once favourite swimwear of choice...

"The Budgie Smuggler"

They were the choice of my youth... Initiatiated when I became a member of the local swim team where speedo's they were mandatory... Not wearing the team coloured speedo (Red white and blue harlequin patterned)..

 Meant you didn't race...

 Later in my late teens and early 20's when I took up Social Water Polo... Budgie Smugglers were standard issue... and the wearing of two pairs... one over the top of the other was a highly reccomended practice so as not to end up naked in the water and one I might add... which I chose to thorougly ignore...

I actually quite looked forward.... should the truth be told... to grappling in the water with some goodlooking buffed  brute (or if I got lucky several goodlooking buffed brutes... they travel in packs you know) on the opposition team... which often lead to... to use the Aussie vernacular...

"Getting Dakked"

A delightful term describing having your pants and sometimes even your underpants or in this case your speedo's pulled down exposing some or all of your bits usually causing shame and embarrassment for the victim...  or as was the case much of the time... if the handsome buffed brute was really determined the speedo's were ripped off... totally... 

I looked even more forward... if that makes any sense... to the Gang Showers in the locker rooms after the match...

Never one to follow the latest trends like board shorts or trunks I stuck to wearing the speedo. I guess that wearing the speedo felt like the closest thing to being naked in the water... apart of course... from actually being naked in the water... 

I still wear Speedos when I go swimming... Well I did at least when I last swam... How long ago was that???

Whilst pondering the past I thought about how long it had been since I last went for a dip at the local pool.

It must be over twelve months ago since I last went and in this realisation I recalled a conversation... well passing comments really... made by a couple of muscled young bubble butted bucks... swaggering confidently past in their designer board shorts...

As they passed... I heard one say to the other...

"Did you see that old bloke?.... Wearing budgie smugglers at his age... that 's just gross"

"He must be an old poofta..." came the reply

Well at least you got the last bit right darling!

And that, I believe, is why I havn't been back to the pool since...

I'm hanging up the budgie smugglers...

As a result of all this I think need to re-think my swimwear options....

Something more befitting an "old poofta"?...

 Something a little more suitable for a gentleman of my of my advanced years that will not cause distress and alarm to the youth of today and protect them from being grossed out?

Naaaaaah!

Fuck it!

and

 Fuck Them!

 I'm off to buy myself a thong!




Bottoms Up Darlings...

Let's Face It Darlings... Princess Just Loves Pressure.... Not!....

Hello Dhaaarlings...

Remember how I told you that I had an order for 50 medieval style tunics for a local school history class that hopes to reinact the battle of hastings?

Well... Having just finished the bridesmaid  frocks I thought I'd best be contacting the teacher at the school to arange to go and get a handle on how many  of each size of cotume might be required to fit the 50 kids that will be wearing them... So I could get started on making of them....

That was Thursday last week... I want out to the school and counted up the number of each sized tunic that I'd need to make....

I also enquired as to when the excursion to the castle for the reinactment was taking place...

The teacher announced that the trip was happening on the following Thursday!

"Oh Fuck!"... Thought I... almost fainting on the spot!
Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck!

I had misunderstood from our earlier discussions in the planning stages that the trip would not be occurring until later in the year giving me plenty of time to work on the costumes following the wedding...

As I rudely discovered... Not So!

 

Funnily enough... the teacher must have sensed the look of shock and complete horror on my face when hearing this news... I guess the colour leaving my face and the sound of panic in my response of...
"Next... Thursday?" was a give away as he added...

"But it's ok... we'll be happy with with what ever you can come up with in that time"...

And here was I thinking I'd be working on the tunics at a "leisurley" pace... HA!

Needless to say the past 6 days have been spent constantly laying up fabric... cutting out pattern pieces... designing, cutting out and overlocking the chest motifs and strapping myself to the Phaff and literally sewing up a storm in an attempt to get as many tunics made as possible in time for the excursion on  Thursday morning...


I've pulled a couple of all nighters in that time and am currently running on 2 hrs sleep in the last 72 hrs!

But!... I at least have 40 af the 50 costumes completed and ready for delivery at 7am in the morning before the excursion bus leaves tomorrow...

The French Invaders are in Green and the English Defenders in Red...

As you might well imagine Princess is pretty... well... stuffed to put it politely andup until this afternoon was still panicing as I still have 10 more green tunics to complete...

When I contacted the teacher this afternoon to discuss my progress he was fairly well chuffed with my efforts and surprised that I had so many completed already... His response was

"Well that's fantastic and 40 will be enough for starters... I don't want you killing yourself over trying to get them all done by the morning... Just take your time to finish the rest of them over the next couple of weeks Princess"....

So it's off to bed for a well earned sleep darlings...

I just hope that I don't sleep through the alarm and miss the bus

It's a 3 hr drive to the castle venue and I don't really fancy a journey of that length to deliver the tunics... thanks all the same!



It's Hot!..... Damn Hot!... Too Damn Hot!



Hello Dhaaarlings...

It's getting to be monotonously hot here... High thirties during the day an low twenties at night... there seems to be little respite and I'm going around the bend!

We have had 9 days straight of this incessant heat now... of which which the weather bureau says is an all time record for March! Whoo Hoo! That kind information does very little for ones temperament when trying to remain cool...

There is meant to be a cool change coming tomorrow evening... But I won't be holding my breath... the Bureau have lied before today you know! Oh yes they have!

The garden is burnt to a crisp despite desperate attempts to keep some water up to it... Plants that survived the drought have now turned up their toes... I've even managed to lose some trees to the scorching dry...

It wasn't even this bad during the 12 years of drought we had some time back!

We have not had any descent rain since October last year...

 A total of 35 ml has fallen in that time... And yes I do have a rain guage in the back yard...

It's after midnight and still 30 degrees C outside and even hotter indoors... No I don't have aircon... and as I don't happen to be lucky enough to own a swimming pool...

I'm making a jug of Bloody Mary's and then I'm off to lay under the sprinkler to cool off before bedtime...

Bottoms Up Darlings!

Put to Bed....

Hello Dhaaarlings...

Photo's as Promised!



Done and Dusted.... Almost!.... Now!.... Let the Battle Begin.....

Hello Dhaaarlings....

5 Gowns and 4 men's ties are completed... most of them have been picked up and all of them have been payed for in full!

Thank you...

It has been quite the marathon... But I can cheerfully say that I can almost see the finish line as we speak... just so long as I don't start to develop a little acidosis and start staggering and and flailing about just before I get there....

I had an additional order  for another Men's Tie... This time in Mauve in for the junior groomsman... along with the three green ones that had already been ordered

This Wedding is going to be bigger than Texas!

I kid you not!

I've just discovered that there is also a flower girl in the bridal party... Fortunately they already have a dress for her... I thought it might have turned into another last minute request but fortunately it is already sorted...

Phew!...

Not that I couldn't have come up with something at short notice!...

Here's a close-up of the hip detail...

I'm just glad that I'm Finished now and can have a rest for a few hours before staring on 50 medieval tunics based on the Battle of Hastings

The History Class at the local college need them in 5 weeks time for an excursion to a local castle built as a tourist attraction to re-enact the battle

I've heard that the students have been busy constructing their shields and pikes in anticipation of the event...



The wedding is tomorrow afternoon... So I'm taking the Empress and a visiting Aunt to have a look at the show and should have a few snaps to share with you very soon....

I'm knackered and am going to hit the hay soon......

I've just finished some "final adjustments" (almost rebuilt it completely) on the last dress... I know I'm cutting things tight but the bridesmaid concerned couldn't get to most of the fittings due to work commitments until today... So Ive been working flat out for the past 6 hours straight to get the final frock finished
I'm delivering this one at 10 in the morning...

It's now 1 am! And still 29 Deg Celscius

OK!  OK!... I'm going....

But not before polishing off a couple of well earned cans of booze before bedtime....

Scotch and Soda I think will hit the spot.... Damn this heat!

Bottoms up Darlings...

What the Duck???

Hello Dhaaarlings...

 

Things are getting curiouser and curiouser around here...

I had a very strange day today... And sometimes I have to think that God has a very warped sense of humour...

It all started with one of those quite out of the blue phone calls...

 You know the one's... When the person on the other end of the phone is the one person that is  furthest from your mind while you are in the middle of hemming frocks and cutting out ties... and someone that you very rarely think about... other than to lament about some of the horrible classes you had to sit through....

 Well ...  It turned out to be one of my lecturers from when I did my clothing design course some years back... I'd always had a rather "Prickly" shall we say... relationship with her during my course and so I almost fell on the floor in shock at hearing her voice on the phone.

She said that she had an interesting business  proposition to put to me and thought that I might be the right person to talk to and If I was indeed interested, could we meet and talk it over...

"Er... Sure" I said... "Come on over... But can you give me a hint as to what it is all about..."

"Ducks" she said "I'll explain it all when I get there..."

It turns out that she has been approached by a local farmer that has a mobile petting zoo and is in the process of expanding his business to include a "Duck Fashion Show" to take around to Schools Shopping Centres and local Agricultural shows... Apparently there has been some farmer doing these shows for years but has now retired and he is taking up the mantle...

So I said I'd think it over and get in contact with the farmer for some more details...

She left me a pile of pictures that she had been working with and a calico toile of something she'd been "playing with" and a wooden Duck!

She was very impressed with the work I've been doing for the theatre when I showed her my brag book of costumes and my current bridesmaid gowns... "They are beautiful" Very high praise considering our past...

We had a great old catch up with what we have both been up to over the past few years... It was nice to see her...

We said our goodbyes and I went back to finishing frocks...

This afternoon the farmer phoned me... Sounding very keen and excited over my lecturers high praise and reccommendation from a phone call he had just had with her!
He sounds like quite a nice guy on the phone... with lots of plans and ideas for duck costumes and what he wants to do with them...
He admitted that he is not able to sew but he is however a qualified sewing machine mechanic.... Who would have thunk?


I have arranged for him to come over to meet mid next week to get a better handle on his plans and discuss a business proposition...


Some days just Quack me up!