"So Long Old Friends"... Or... "You Know When It's Time To Hang Up The 'Budgie Smuggler's'"...

Hello Dhaaarlings...

I've recently been pondering the past and have been facinated by how it sometimes collides with the present causing one to come to the rather rude conclusion that...

 Long gone are my days of wearing my once favourite swimwear of choice...

"The Budgie Smuggler"

They were the choice of my youth... Initiatiated when I became a member of the local swim team where speedo's they were mandatory... Not wearing the team coloured speedo (Red white and blue harlequin patterned)..

 Meant you didn't race...

 Later in my late teens and early 20's when I took up Social Water Polo... Budgie Smugglers were standard issue... and the wearing of two pairs... one over the top of the other was a highly reccomended practice so as not to end up naked in the water and one I might add... which I chose to thorougly ignore...

I actually quite looked forward.... should the truth be told... to grappling in the water with some goodlooking buffed  brute (or if I got lucky several goodlooking buffed brutes... they travel in packs you know) on the opposition team... which often lead to... to use the Aussie vernacular...

"Getting Dakked"

A delightful term describing having your pants and sometimes even your underpants or in this case your speedo's pulled down exposing some or all of your bits usually causing shame and embarrassment for the victim...  or as was the case much of the time... if the handsome buffed brute was really determined the speedo's were ripped off... totally... 

I looked even more forward... if that makes any sense... to the Gang Showers in the locker rooms after the match...

Never one to follow the latest trends like board shorts or trunks I stuck to wearing the speedo. I guess that wearing the speedo felt like the closest thing to being naked in the water... apart of course... from actually being naked in the water... 

I still wear Speedos when I go swimming... Well I did at least when I last swam... How long ago was that???

Whilst pondering the past I thought about how long it had been since I last went for a dip at the local pool.

It must be over twelve months ago since I last went and in this realisation I recalled a conversation... well passing comments really... made by a couple of muscled young bubble butted bucks... swaggering confidently past in their designer board shorts...

As they passed... I heard one say to the other...

"Did you see that old bloke?.... Wearing budgie smugglers at his age... that 's just gross"

"He must be an old poofta..." came the reply

Well at least you got the last bit right darling!

And that, I believe, is why I havn't been back to the pool since...

I'm hanging up the budgie smugglers...

As a result of all this I think need to re-think my swimwear options....

Something more befitting an "old poofta"?...

 Something a little more suitable for a gentleman of my of my advanced years that will not cause distress and alarm to the youth of today and protect them from being grossed out?

Naaaaaah!

Fuck it!

and

 Fuck Them!

 I'm off to buy myself a thong!




Bottoms Up Darlings...