Friday, October 2, 2015

Seaside Adventure Series... Part 1

Hello Dhaaarlings...

Join me for a quick series of Seaside adventures from The Empress and my recent tour...

Sea world on the Gold Coast in Queensland meant that we had to travel over the border for the day.
Home to many and varied sea creatures
We had visited the attraction over 20 years ago and back then you paid your entry fee and then could visit the displays, watch the marine creatures and go on the rides at the fun park for free. These days not so much.

As we entered the park the Empress commented on how she was looking forward to seeing the water skiing exhibition with pretty and graceful ladies balancing above the water on the shoulders of some very strong gentlemen all done at speed in lovely floaty costumes whilst being towed behind a motor boat...

Imagine her dismay when we discovered that the lovely water skiers had been replaced by 6 brawny young gentlemen in very tight fitting wet suits racing about about on very noisy and splashy jet ski's going over jumps and doing tricks...
"Well, that's a disappointment" she said getting up from her seat...
"But their "costumes" are quite impressive Mother" I implored
"Well... I'm not sitting here to watch this noisy rubbish" she replied, 
"I get enough hoons going past on motorbikes every day and night at home without all the splashing" she muttered, heading off to the next attraction. 

The main attractions and rides are still for free but to see some of the newer animals and exhibits you have to pay for the up close and personal experience.
And they are not cheap. 
$50.oo to have your photo taken with a dolphin!
More money to have an encounter with a polar bear...
And certainly don't expect cheap eats...
A basic egg and lettuce sandwich - $8
150ml Bottled water - $4
Softdrink - $7- $13 
Just as well we'd packed a few snacks and bits of fruit...

So needless to say the Empress and I managed to get around to all the freebees that we could... 
Most of the rides were unsuitable for the Empress who has never been very keen on roller-coasters (of which there were 3 to choose from) and as the chair lift was closed for repairs, we settled for the monorail.

6 trips later... and we were thoroughly exhausted!

Here are some snaps of the freebees that we did manage to see...

A sad and lonely dolphin... About to undergo a training session so that it can be moved easily by it's human captors...

but a least there was a nice consolation arse to view in the process...

Which almost made up for the whole awful experience..

Come and feed the seagulls... er... I mean seals
At $10.00 for a cup of 4 sardines and a bit of squid I'd rather have mine Battered and served with Chips thanks...

Why not have a go at petting a stingray? 
(It almost worked for the crocodile man)

Or perhaps being water misted by a mechanical Leviathan as it roars at you as you go past is more your cup of tea?


Well... What about being yawned at by a grumbling overgrown crocodile?
No? Me neither...

Give me a proverbial pod of pelican Any day!

Fortunately we missed the sea lion show.
I was not keen to see seals dressed as a sheriff and more seals dressed as  robbers with some wanker out the front on a microphone making out that it was some sort exciting mystery that "Sheriff Sea Lion" would solve the "Big Bank Robbery" by the end of the show. 
All this done on a stage more suited to the American Wild West theme park... 
I did say that we missed the show... but sadly on one of the loops on the monorail it just happened to stop and hover above the show for long enough to hear the overexcited wanker get louder and louder as the "Robbers" escaped by waddling through a door onto a plank and diving into the pool...
"it's all natural behavior" he shouted.
Especially when you have been born in captivity and know nothing else I thought...
We missed the morning session of the dolphin show so got back in time for the afternoon session, but sadly the batteries had died in the camera by that stage, well they died much earlier in the day and I'd left the spare set over the border...
The Empress did a lot of ooing and ahhing during the dolphin show as the dolphins sped through the water with their captors riding on there backs or leapt out of the water with one of their captors balanced on their nose and then throwing them up into the air... but thinking back she was probably complaining about the pain in her feet.

The whole place is just one big commercial promotion having been taken over by a number of large multi national companies like Cocacola, Nickelodian et al
Much of the day was spent avoiding the life sized Dora the Explorer and friends or Spongebob Squarepants and his awfully obnoxious entourage running about the grounds...

And they're still claiming to be an animal wildlife and conservation service and not just another income stream for big business...
Yeah... right


  1. Oh, god, exactly like the Sea Worlds here. The whales and porpoises confined to those small tanks are especially depressing. :(

    1. Yes Mr Lax, it was the overwhelming sense of sadness, depression and utter disappointment emanating from the animals that we did manage to see which left me feeling just a little jaded... Sadly it's not about the animals anymore, it's all about the money....

  2. Oh, Princess. How sad and disappointing (for you and the animals). Still, at least there was arse. And I rather like that mechanical misting dragon - It's just what I need to water the garden in the hot, dry summer month.*

    * No, I didn't forget an 's' on the end of 'month'.

    1. Ha! English Summers, at least they are short which means i bet you save heaps on your water bill. Unlike our Summer's that seem to be getting hotter , dryer, and longer every year. This year we did have a rather protracted cold spell for winter but we still had well below average rainfall which is not a good thing when heading into what they are predicting will be more drought this year... I think installing a rockery and cacti might be the next project on the cards if this lack of water continues... maybe even a desert eventually...

  3. And I just bet you had out your opera glasses for a closer inspection of the wet suit clad boys?!?!?! What a lovely day. I think it may have been lovely to see you on a porpoise riding about, or perhaps sitting in the mouth of that gator.........

    1. I was just rummaging through my reticule in search of the Opera glasses when the Empress decided that she'd had enough.

  4. How much?

    - A glass of water for Princess.

    You do make me chuckle.

    1. Chuckle? I was "spitting chips" by the time i'd been silly enough to pay for a small bucket of the hot ones...
      I'd have helped myself to a refilled bottle of water from a tap but couldn't find a tap/drinking fountain in the whole place. the only taps i did find were in the loos and then the tap was too close to the basin to fit a bottle underneath to re fill... The bastards think of everything...

  5. Reading this post was partly my inspiration for the post I did today about where to find good news.

    I get bummed out very easily by what's going on in the world but I thank you nonetheless for bringing attention to the conditions at this place. It really should be boycotted and the animal rights groups should be notified, if this hasn't already been done.

    1. Hello Mistress,
      I was disappointed, but I doubt very much that the place will be shut down any time soon as there is to much capital investment and the state is also part owner of the thing... They will provide any sort of crapola if tourist dollars and foreign investors are involved... The influence if Chinese, South Korean and Japanese as investors does hold a lot of sway

  6. I dislike this sort of theme park too. It 's getting harder and harder to find places to visit that haven't been tarnished by commercialisation.... still, it is possible.