Wednesday, January 25, 2017

A Screw Loose?... More Like A Lost Screw....

Hello Dhaaarlings....


This set out to be an update on my further readings and other goings on about The Palais since we last conversed.
But given the events of the past few weeks I think the theme for discussion will be rectification... you know like fixing things up or putting things right again...

Everything had been going swimmingly with the bed rest and reading and pottering about the garden... until this happened....


Or something very similar... A loose screw suddenly became a lost screw and put paid to my continued readings until i could get off my arse and go get my reading glasses fixed... Which just happened to be today...

Whilst at the optometrist I made a long overdue appointment to have a review of my eyesight as the current glasses just don't seem to be working as well as they used to... or perhaps its has more to do with my eyes just not working as well as they used to... either way... it's time to rectify the problem.

In other news I'm feeling a lot better in myself and have found great benefits from having some decent remedial massages. 
My wonky shoulder is back to normal... as in... It's not wonky any more...

The aches and pains that I knew I had and even the ones that I didn't know I had until I started having them worked on.... have improved to the point were the ones that knew and the ones that I didn't know I had are almost gone completely... sure... I still feel achy for a day or so after a massage but it's a good ache... And... as the massages are remedial they are covered by my health insurance. So far... I have not incurred any out of pocket expenses... Yay!

I've also discovered that eye care is covered by my policy as well... so things are looking up!... if you will pardon the pun...

I'm also feeling my energy levels returning... slowly... but still needing to pace myself...

Now... Who was it that once said...

 "Princess... Life is a marathon... Not a sprint" ?...

It could have been my premature ejaculation therapist... Well that's how he introduced himself... I really wouldn't know... He was holding on to my ears at the time and I could hardly hear a word he was saying...

But I digress...

Since our last conversation darlings... The Palais has been having some sewerage "difficulties" to say the least.
Over Christmas and New Year I started to notice that some areas of the backyard rather than taking on the look of an arid desert... which is usual at this time of year... were remaining green and verdant and abundant with grass... "That's odd" I thought to myself

On other days I'd notice patches of "water" laying on the surface of the ground to about 2 inches deep in places... "That's even odder" I thought to myself... "I didn't leave a sprinkler running overnight again did I?" then remembered that I had just installed new "Tap Timers" on all the garden taps and hoses used to water the garden that can be pre set to turn themselves off. And I'd not watered in the offending area's at any rate.

Then the toilet in my unit started to do strange things... 
Like back up and take ages to drain... or have bubbles of water and air gurgling up through the bowl.

"Time to call a plumber" I thought to myself.

I called a plumbing company who instructed me to call the local sewerage authority to establish whether the fault was theirs or ours and thus if it was their fault we would not require a plumber.

I contacted the local authority and was told after describing the situation to the receptionist to "go and see if there was anything wrong with the "Manhole" covers located behind your property... I did this without having a clue as to what i was meant to be looking for. I explained to the person on the phone that i couldn't actually see over the back fences given their height... But there was a very strong odour of raw sewerage in the vicinity and grey water laying in the yard...

I was then informed that she had looked up the computer and their system was reporting that everything was "fine" and it was "more likely that the problem is on your property and you I should call a plumber!"

I rang the plumbing company again to be told that the soonest that someone could come out would be tomorrow as most of their staff were all still away on leave...

So the plumber came the next day, shoved a very long thingy down the pipes, Thought he had felt something "dislodge"... and left saying that he didn't have his "Pipe camera" with him but if there were still problems over the weekend to contact him again on Monday 

The problems persisted over the weekend and got a little worse but I shan't entertain you with further yucky details darlings.
I called them again on Monday morning to be told that  the plumber in question had been called out on another emergency but would call by in the afternoon... He did... at 4pm...

I gave him all the horrid details of my trauma over the weekend.
He walked into the toilet and flushed it!

Of course it flushed normally for him didn't it!... He's an expert in such matters after all... despite the surrounding evidence of buckets and plungers l'd left strewn the offending loo as evidence.  

He  scratched his head and then looked all over the old toilet and announced  "It may have to be replaced... and because the old bowl has been cemented into the floor and tiled around... it will be a "big job" and be "fairly pricey" to fix"...

But as it was nearly "Knock off time" he couldn't start on anything now and would come back tomorrow...

He arrived bright and early the next morning armed with all sorts of contraptions including the "pipe camera" and proceeded to perform an endoscopy on the pipework. Apart from a bit of fatty buildup in the pipes themselves he could find no problem... they were draining normally until he got to a patch where he could see the build up of sewerage not draining away.

He then removed the camera on its wire and proceeded to walk down the back yard with me holding the wire from where it entered the pipe.
He got to the back fence and still had 15 meters of cable that he says had entered into the mains and that was where the problem was.

The stench coming from somewhere was far more noticable and had gotten stronger since the weekend...

Together we just happened to look over into the next door neighbours property (which is a rental that is currently unoccupied) to witness a river of raw sewerage flowing in under their back fence line... at least a foot deep!

"That's where your problem is" says Einstein... "It's definitely the mains....
 It's backing up and seeping into your yard as well.
Ring the barstards now while I'm here and tell them that they're the ones with the problem...

Then they will want to fight over who's going to pay my bill...
So don't pay my account when it comes... give it to them to sort out with us.

I contacted the sewerage authority to inform them that "Despite my alerting them to the problem over a week ago to be told that their system was "Fine" without doing a manual inspection and that the problem must be on my property and to contact a Plumber... I've had to call a plumber out 3 times since making the initial report to you.... He has discovered that the problem is in fact yours and is definitely a blocked sewerage main."...

I went on to inform him that I would not be held responsible for the plumbing account when it arrived and that they would need to cover any expenses incurred...

The immediate response from the other end of the phone was...

"Well hang on just a minute... we first have to establish that the problem is in fact ours"... to which i replied " Well let me help you... there is a foot deep river of shit running through the neighbours back yard and backing up into mine... does that help you in your establishment of fact?"

His response... "I'll send out a crew immediately"

"And how long will that take?... Can I expect them tomorrow or the next day?" I inquired...

"They will be there within 15 minutes Sir" 
And they were...

It was like all hell had broken loose... All of a sudden there were trucks and Ute's and suckers and blowers and a plethora of gentlemen in High Vis gear swarming everywhere in the paddock behind the property.

The loo is now in full working order and there are no longer stinky puddles of grey water seeping up through the ground in the back yard and the next door neighbours yard has been cleaned up too.

The account for the plumbing arrived last week  for $440.00 
I immediately took it into the Sewerage Authorities office and explained the situation again to them.
I received a phone call from the manager last Friday to say that the fault was indeed theirs and that they would accept the incurred costs and would contact the plumbing service to have the invoice rectified.

I thanked him for his prompt response... But...

I'll be very keen to see if the water and sewerage rate notice isn't $440.00
above what it usually is...
I'm not paranoid at all darlings...

The even better news is that the missing screw is no longer missing!...

 So darlings... I'm off to bed for a good read...

Bottoms Up!

24 comments:

  1. Glad you're feeling better, and seeing again, but I imagine you'd wished you lost your sense of smell with the sewer issues!
    Hopefully all is flushing nicely now!

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    1. Toward the end of the saga nose pegs where almost a mandatory requirement to go anywhere near the backyard Bob.
      Just as well I'd kept a few old nose pegs from my synchronized swimming days... one never knows when old things kept from ones past will come in handy...

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  2. Ack, I loathe plumbing issues, either with the boiler or with the drains.... I never understand what the plumber is talking about.... but I am so relieved when I can flush without caution. Pleased you're no longer bogged down.
    Sx

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    1. Ack Ack and double Ack Miss Scarlet.
      Things are now back in propper working order thank goodness...

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  3. Well, that was an entertaining way to begin my day.It puts my little drama into its pale perspective!
    And pleased you're on the mend yourself and not having to slosh about in wellies.

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    1. The wellies are well and truly high and dry for the moment thanks Dinahmow. And it is nice to be finally feeling better...

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  4. What good news - in the end! Things certainly do seem to come in threes - Although it's just a shame that you had to be privvy to the number ones and number twos, too...
    Health, plumbing, and no loose screw. Things are looking up!

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    1. Things are indeed looking up Mr DeVice. I'm very glad to be able to flush again without any "surprizes" and feeling much better in the process. I'll soon be back to reading with gay abandon...

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  5. An unclog-the-backlogged-bog blog!

    So pleased you got is sorted before the "turd tidal wave" got any closer to the house - but just think how fertile the garden's going to be after all that... Jx

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    1. Ha! I've been thinking about a new title for a blog Jon... Something along the lines of "Sewer Surprise" or "Just when you thought it was safe to flush"
      The garden has already been surprising. I've had a multitude self sown "Lambs Ears and Violas" popping up in all the offending areas that were swamped... So I guess it's not all bad news... I've managed to uproot some of them and replant them in more suitable areas to avoid having them mown over... It saves on purchasing seedlings too...

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    2. I'd stay clear of the veg for now.

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    3. Fortunately the Veg patch remained high and dry throughout Mistress...

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  6. I was laughing out loud at several points in this post.
    *wipes tears*

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    1. I'm so Glad to be able to bring a smile to your face Darling D...
      *passes Damien a hand embroidered silk handkerchief to assist with tear wiping*

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    2. Pockets said hand embroidered silk handkerchief...its GAW-juss.

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  7. I had a vision of Princess in the garden hunting for brown trout and breaking their backs with a wire hanger. Excellent for the roses, I just hope when they come out, they don't all stink of shit.

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    1. It was almost that kind of nightmare Mitzi.... I think most of the roses will do just fine as there were not a lot of them planted in the area concerned... Thankd goodness

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  8. Big relief, so to speak, that the plumbing story had a happy ending!

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    1. I'm entirely happy with the end result Mr Lax, It just could have been dealt with sooner if the Local Authority had actually got off their arse and done their job and done a manual inspection themselves when the problem was first brought to their attention... Systematic "Buck Passing" strikes again...

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  9. I applaud you for your fortitude and grace under pressure! You handled that crappy situation with class!

    Glad the sewer situation is solved and maybe the soil got a helpful fertilizer boost. And hooray for finding that much needed screw! So glad to hear that the massages are helping, you're feeling a bit better, and things are getting better. Cheers, Princess!

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  10. Thanks Mr Swings, yes it all turned out quite well after all..

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  11. Oh my goodness...you've had a stinky old time.

    Good to hear the remedial massage is doing its job. It's not fun to have, but as you say it works!

    As for your other issue....what a pile of shit! Thank goodness it was all sorted without you having to fork out $440. Honestly. They're like that here too. You have to put on the Stroppy Knickers to get anything done.

    Your garden will miss the water though...

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    1. Hi Rose,
      Yes, the garden will miss the water but i certainly won't miss the inconvenience of using the convenience nor the smell in the yard...

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