For many years Princess worked...
(Yes Dhaarlings... I wasn't always a Princess)
With a wonderful colleague called Lydia...
We had a client who, on every occasion when visiting the service...
Would start to sing the first few lines of a song called
"Lydia the Tattooed Lady"
every time my colleague would enter the room.
I was not familiar with the song, or, where it came from, or who sang it...
or what it was all about only having heard the first few lines of the tune...
but it stuck in my head...
For many years I would lie awake in bed at night... pondering its origins...
Who had sung it? Was it an old hit from a bygone era?
Was it from a movie or a musical?
I didn't know....no one seemed to know...
I lost sleep..
I asked my parents, my parents' parents...
Friends of my parents, My friends and their parents' parents,
and none of them could recall ever hearing a song of this nature...
This connundrum was getting right up my goat!
I would approach friends or even strangers in the street and ask...
"Do you know of Lydia the Tattooed Lady?
They would look at me strangely alarmed and reply..
" Fuck off Princess"
I would graciously thank them for wishing me pleasure...
and continue on my way searching for clues in sloving this troublesome mystery...
I started to think I had imagined the whole thing...
had recalled the wrong name...
Perhaps it was Mary I worked with and not Lydia?...
And even tho... Mary is a grand old name...
Mary the the tattooed lady just doesn't sound right....
It could have been Charlene....
But.... I think she changed her name to Kylie... not Lydia.
Could it have been Sheryl or Sharon?....
I did work with several of them...
over the years...
but...
I don't recall them having tattoos...
well not where you could see them at work anyway.
Or was it Daisy?
Oh Daisy, Daisy, give me the answer do...
At times I tought had been driven completely around the bend...
Other friends....
Apart from wishing me pleasure constantly...
Told me...
"Princess..... you have become obsessed"
"I've become obsessed"!?
"You lot are the ones constantly wishing me plesure...
How very dare you even suggest such a thing....
that I.... am obsessed!"...
I said
"But Princess... stop all this quixotish tilting at windmills"...
they said. (Well they did)
"You can't go on like this Princess"...
"It's making you very dull to be around"...
They said
"You will never find this Holy Grail of a "Tattoed Lidia" ... that you seek,
She does not exhist"...they said
"Lydia the Tattoed Lady" I corrected...
"What...evah" ...they said
"We don't care Princess... it's all a figment of your imagination" ...
"Now.... Fuck off Princess"....
"There you go again" I thought...
"And you have the gall to tell me that I'm obsessed"!!
From that moment on my life changed....
I resoved that I would never mention...
"Lydia the Tattooed Lady"
To a living soul ever again.
I would continue my Quest for her in silence.
It would remain my secret...
A very private indulgence....
Knowing that
No matter how long it took...
No mater how many rubber trees I would have to move...
The lengths that I would have to go to...
The many rivers to cross...
Climbing every mountain...
Fording every stream ...
Following every rainbow...
Until the day...
That... I... Princess ... Would Find My Lydia!
AND HERE SHE IS!
And suddenly it all fell into place...
An 18 year connundrum had been solved!
This will show them all...
That Princess was not "mad" or "obsessed"
I had finally found the Proof I needed...
I told my friends...
I sent them the clip....
And do you know what they said in response?
"Ohhh... Fuck Off Princess"
18 FUCKING YEARS AND THAT'S THE THANKS I GET!!
But at least I will be sleeping soundly tonight!
Pleasant Dreams Dhaarlings...
Happy you solved the mystery!
ReplyDeleteWill you be attending any ANZAC Day observances?
Hi XL,
ReplyDeletePossibly, dpending how the empress is travelling, it is a long time for her to sit and watch the local parade, but we usually get up to watch the dawn service televised live from Gallipoli, then the one from the Shrine of Rememberance in Melbourne.
I once took a tour there when my brother was training to be a tour guide, many years ago now, but i loved doing the research and collating the history of the shrine and assisting him in putting together the important information to talk about with people on his tour...
It was an early evening tour in summer and while he took the tour, I set up the after tour refreshments of Chicken and Champagne on the lawns in the gardens nearby.
The guests were quite delighted on their return to find such a welcoming and sumptuous repast.
Many of them commenting on the new history and background to the shrine that they hadn't known or heard about on similar "professional" tours.
They sat on blankets and cushions eating and drinking on the lawns watching the sun set through till dusk.
Oh, and brother got his certificate too!
I didn't know about the Melbourne ANZAC Memorial. Will visit it next time. Hope to attend a dawn service and parade also.
ReplyDeleteI visited the ANZAC Memorial in Sydney and the Australian War Memorial in Canberra.
My ship operated with Australian Army and Navy units during the Viet Nam war. I will be thinking about them on ANZAC Day.
if you'd like to see another funny version of the song, check out the philadelphia story with cary grant and katharine hepburn, it's sung by virginia weidler (playing hepburn's little sister, dinah) and is hilarious
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxx
honest vw: obbesses
Oh. My. Gods!
ReplyDeleteWe sing "Lydia, oh Lydia" (but no more as we don't know the words) at work to our Lydia.
Well, behind her back, anyway.
Thank you for solving my conundrun, too.
Conundru'm'. Conundrum!
ReplyDeleteHi Xl, Savnnah and IDV
ReplyDeleteI have an early start and a very busy day ahead of me so will repond to you all further, later tonight guys.
thanks to all for your understanding XXX Princess...
Ps This message is also for any other guests that may pop in whilst i am away on errands for the day....
They left some very special scenes, those brothers. It's pure anarchy when they are at their best, in the early movies.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on finally solving the mystery of Lydia the Tattooed Lady! You weren't crazy! Those other people are just jealous that you were right all along and found proof of Lydia's existence!
ReplyDeleteI once worked with a Lucille, a few times when Lucille was leaving for lunch, we'd sing,
"You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille,
With four hungry children and crops in the field.
I've had some bad times,
Lived through some sad times,
But this time your hurting won’t heal.
You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille!"
That Lucille was such a good sport about the whole thing.
Dear Mago
ReplyDeleteAhh the Brothers Marx.... a sheer joy with their antics and sharp often cutting one liners.
Groucho certainly had a way with language and was able to pull of the most marvelous put downs with out so much as a blink of an eye but always seemingly without malice. The recipient victim often unaware of the innuendo or intent due to his disarming manner of delivery and contstant jovial and delightful mischieveousness of
presence.
Their madcap antics never fail to make me laugh....
Dear Eros,
Lucille...
that song always reminds me of the time when I had a flat rear tyre on my car... I had just bought it new 2nd hand Car a new car and not being all that mechanically minded at the time had madaged to locate the spare, and jack, remove the flat, put on the new wheel, safely lower the car, pack everyting back in the boot, and then have my father follow me in his car to the neatest garage to have a new tyre fitted.
Just one slight problem...
I had failed to tighten the lugnuts that hold the wheel on and during the drive to the service centre, while driving down the main street of town... the rear wheel fell off!!
My father travelling behind, had seen all this about to happen, wathing as the wheel began to wobble and had madly been flashing his headlights and tooting his horn
to try and gain my attention.
Of course i had been totally oblivious to all of this being such an observant and new driver had been keeping my eyes on the road ahead knowing that dad was behind me and would pick me up on any slight infringement of the road rules!
Well the next thing was there was this enormous god awful shudder and then sound of metal on tarmac as the rear of the car hit the road surface...creating a trail of sparks...As the car came to a screeching halt i was suddenly passed by a hub cap that i recognised... closely followed by the recently changed wheel hub and tyre...
Dad came racing up to the driver side window and started firing questions at me
"Are you alright"?
"You're lucky that you did'nt cause an accident"
"Didn't you tighten the lug nuts properly"?
"Do you realise you could have killed youreslf or someone else"
I sat there initially in stunned silence... unable to speak...
throughout this barrage....
Eventually he said "Well for goodness sake... say something will you"?...
In my state of shock i turned to him and with out thinking sang the first words that came into my head...
"You picked a fine time to leave me "loosewheel"...
He stood there looking quite stunned for a moment at my response
then suddenly burst into fits of laughter... saying "come on...get out... and we'll go see what damage you've done....
Every time i here this song it reminds me of my Dad and the day that "Loosewheel" left me...
Xl,
ReplyDeleteYou might find this an interesting read... I remember from your "field report" your vists to Canberra and Sydney Memorials... and naturally thought you had called by the one in Melbourne, If you were at the Flinders St Rail station you may well have seen it in the distance further along and over the swanston street bridge, only a stones throw from the station...
If you ever plan to come back to Aus for another visit I'd be happy to give you a tour of the shrine.
Svannah,
Sounds like real fun, and I will definitly try to check it out...
thanks for the tip.
I like the concept of MCW
and as you may have gathered have recently discovered the art of posting clips! Can anyone join in?
Is it a case of Cecking Boxer's post for the theme then just going for it, or what? Or is there a formal process. i would welcome some feedback...XXX
Mr DeVice,
Have we been living in a parrallel universe? Was this the same lidia that just time shifted?
I am very glad that my 18 year "private indulgence" has been of great assistance in resolving a similar conundrum for your good self... and i must say that i was pleased that you were able to convey your delight in resolution by "fucking me not off" in my disclosure! Sir i thank you....
You're out for the day?
ReplyDeleteAre you shopping at Lidl? teehee.
I used to sing the Lydia song with a friend of mine when we were children. We found it amusing.
Hi MJ,
ReplyDeleteNot quite, Ha ha, could have done with a camera though...Saw two separate young mums with three seat strollers, not quite Vicky but close....
But have been looking after brothers store for the day... (the one mentioned at a very recent rant from atop a high horse at chez infomaniac)... while he takes some time out with Wife, Three Daughters, 12, 9 and 7, and New baby boy 4mths Oh... and a 30 pack of beer! Its along weekend here (Anzac Day) and a good opprtunity for them to get away.
If i can stay awake for long enough i might just get to the local Dawn service to see some fine gents in uniform!
Ha! That is a great story about the loose wheel! That's the stuff of family legends!
ReplyDeleteHe looks so beautiful.
ReplyDelete