Sunday, May 2, 2010

Preserving that Sylph-like Figure.....

The following is an excerpt from a regular humour column that appeared in a magazine called

"The Auatralian Womans Weekly", which appeared on June 10th 1933...
"Its star attraction was L. W. Lower Australia's leading humourist at the time.
Through the depression and the war years Lennie Lower kept them laughing
With, his outrageous columns on anything from revising an encyclopaedia while
eating a stolen orange to, hobnobbing with hitler"

Preserving that Sylph-like Figure...

Lennie Lower

Do you want a figure like a bean?

People in all walks of life, and some who find it hard to walk at all, keep pestering me for information on how, I preserve my sylph-like figure. I will explain it here, once and for all. After this I do not want to be bothered any more on the subject.

With me, I suppose it is a gift. I can reduce my bust measurement by about two inches simply by taking all the things out of my vest pockets. Exercise and diet are the main things.

As regards to diet, Marlene Dietrich recommends stoned raisins soaked overnight in lemon juice. I have not tried this, but think it should be good.

Ladies who are bad shots should get someone else to stone the raisins for them. Moderate sized stones should be used, and the stoning should take place in the open, where the risk of breakages is less.

Oranges and lemons were used in the days gone by by the belles of St Clement’s who found them very beneficial……..

………Exercise should be taken in moderation. Here is a good one for reducing the hips: stand erect with hands on top of the head, and slowly raise the left leg to the level of the shoulder.

Keep it there for five or ten minutes, then gently lower to the ground.

Do this ten times with the left leg and ten times with the right leg.

Then do it with both legs at once. You will actually feel a difference in your hips almost immediately……….

…….A brisk walk each morning will work wonders; or failing that, a brisk drive around town in a limousine. This, however, does not take in bending and stooping exercises, which are essential for the maintenance of a good figure. I have found that the best way for a husband to persuade his wife to go in for bending and stooping is to make the fence which stops the view into the next door neighbour’s yard about ten feet high, and then to block up all the cracks, leaving only a few peep holes about one foot from the ground.

The husband next door should bear half the cost of alteration as the scheme works both ways……..

……..Don’t be misled by weighing machines. Weighing machines are the most lying things on earth, and should be treated accordingly. When you see ‘16st. 10lb.’ on the dial, think of the number you first thought of and stick to it.

And don’t be disheartened if results do not come immediately.
Slim women may look slick, but a fat woman stays.

Ask any corset manufacturer.

September 9, 1933

from the book "Humour on the Weekly" by Currey O'Neil

Food for Thought...



  1. Great video clip!

    It mentions two things I love...


    "Bend down, sister" is something I hear frequently in the darkened corners of the back rooms of the gay bars I frequent.

    Fitness first! Even when you're enjoying a night out with the boys.

  2. Great video. I suddenly have an urge to go to Krispy Kreme.

    I had not seen the pix of Marlene before. Wonderful.

    Oh Hai MJ!

  3. Dear MJ,
    I couldn't resist posting the clip once discovered, given the content and musings of Mr Lower... They just seemed to fit like fingers in a glove... Long, Evening, Satin, Black...

    Dear xl,
    Mmmm....doughnuts. It is a nice shot of Ms Deitrich and one that i too had not seen before...
    She really was quite stunning...

  4. I must say the way I've been spending this weekend, I may not be needing the exercises mentioned. I won't be able to afford food.

  5. Dear CP

    There iis nothing like a good dose of retail therapy, it can be a real boon for the waistline....

  6. Ha! That was funny about the stoned raisins! I actually like raisins, but I do not like grapes.

    That video is fun! Where do they find the time to make all those pastries with all that dancing?