Friday, December 23, 2011

Christmas at the Palais...

Hello Darlings...

The Empress

Princess is feeling a little flat and numb and is finding it a little difficult to maintain some Christmas cheer this year...
Over the past few months the Empress has been increasingly experiencing what to her are very strange things.
Major panic attacks with lots of anxiety. Poor sleep, feeling tired all the time and headaches which were usually put down to being "a bit dehydrated" or "I must be coming down with something"... 

She has experienced several episodes of loss of balance and her walking gait has changed considerably.
Her memory for recent events is becoming patchy often repeating the same conversation that she has had with someone recently to me several times throughout the course of the day, looking quite taken aback when I have said to her that she has already told me the story a couple of times already... 
And her response is usually a perplexed "Oh have I?" and then another hour or so later repeating the same story.
Her usual Christmas preparation of cakes, puddings, biscuits and treats became a series of almost disasters one after the other this year... Over cooking.  Burning biscuits and shortbread...Leaving out or miscalculating amounts of ingredients. Things that she would normally have managed in a breeze, now reducing her to tears...
There have also been episodes of misplaced accounts/ cards and Christmas gifts that result in a frantic searches throughout the house only to discover, once I have been summoned to assist in the searching that, the missing item is in clear view placed on another bench or in a different cupboard to the one being searched through....
Princess is finding these changes all to be a little bit confronting...

Wednesday I took her to her GP for some results on a recent heart monitor study. The results from that were good news. Nothing out of the ordinary and no need for a pacemaker or medication which were some of the options discussed if the results were not good.

We got talking with the Dr about some of the other things that have been happening with regard to the Empresses memory and emotional lability and resultant increased levels of anxiety... the GP suggested that we get some regular blood tests done and ordered a CT Brain scan and to fill out a questionnaire regarding mood levels looking at anxiety and depression symptoms stating that there was no rush and that it might take a while to get an appointment over Christmas.
Thinking that getting an appointment for a CT scan might take some time... particularly over the Christmas New year period... we phoned to arrange a booking when we got home after going about our regular business and got an appointment for today! Almost a miracle!

Mid morning I took the Empress for her CT scan then we continued with our planned shopping trip.
On arriving home there was a message from the GP Clinic. Could the Empress attend the clinic as soon a possible as the Dr had some results to discuss with her.
We phoned the clinic back and were asked to come in immediately

The news was not good.

The CT shows that the Empress has a Lytic Lesion of the skull. In lay-man's terms... a cancerous growth located in the skull bone over her left eye. The GP very gently went on to explain that these types of lesions can sometimes be benign but are more often secondary to a primary cancer. And therefore the Empress will
need to undergo further tests to investigate the cause.

Immediately we were sent to book the Empress in to have a regular chest x-ray, mammogram, and bone scans.

Again... thinking that booking appointments might take time and maybe even having to wait a week or two.
How wrong was I?
The Chest x-ray and Mammogram were taken on the spot! We have a booking for the bone scans at 8.30 in the morning tomorrow!
some times things just go right... But  for all seems to be happening too quickly to adjust to.

The Empress... in some ways... seems quite relieved... While I drove us home with our collective heads spinning in shock she suddenly announced...

 "Well Darling at least I know now that it's not just all in my head!" 
and laughing added... 

"And I don't think a pacemaker is going to cure it... do you?"

"And I don't want to let the rest of the family know what's happening until we know more... I don't want to go spoiling their Christmas... the news can wait until after Christmas..."

Tonight the Empress had two of her very close friends call by and very much to my surprise...announced on their arrival... 
"Princess... defrost those prawns I've been keeping for New Year we have guests for dinner... and while you're at it crack open one of those bottles of champagne in your fridge! (the Empress is usually a tea total) Tonight I feel like celebrating and I'm going to... while I can still enjoy it!...  

We polished off one bottle and opened a second...

The prawns and salad... picked fresh from the vegie patch... were delicious
Good company with much laughter ensued over dinner... I think the Bupply helped...

You've got to Love a Woman with style!

That is my Mother.

We should have more results by next week...

In the meantime I intend spending Christmas with the Empress surrounded by family and the people that we love...

I truly hope that you can do the same with friends and family of your own...

Whatever the result.... I know that we are going to be in for one hell of a ride Darlings


  1. Best wishes to you and the Empress!
    At least you both now know what the problem is - the worry was probably causing an awful lot of stress.
    Hugs and bubbly!

  2. My thoughts and prayers are with you and the Empress. I know it'll be hard, but try to make the best of the holidays, it will be good for her.

    Huggs & Love

  3. We'll keep both of you in our thoughts.

  4. The things we have to look forward to as we grow older. Will have the Empress and you in my prayers.

    *Searches for reading glasses while all along they're on top of my head*

  5. Sending best wishes to you both.

  6. I sense, "knowing" you through words on a screen, that you are a sweet, generous, good-hearted soul. This sad news and in your laughter your courage and strength shine, though tears surely well like champagne bubbles. I send warm thoughts and best wishes for you and your mother.

  7. I wish you and The Empress all the best.

  8. Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I know this must be scary, but I'm glad the Empress is being so solid about it all.

  9. She sounds like a fine woman, and kabuki will pray for her long life and good health. Enjoy the holidays, these are the memories that will stay the brightest.

  10. Fasten your seatbelts and take a good belt of that bubbly.

    You and The Empress are in my thoughts.

  11. sending love....and its right to keep it to yourselves for now. Im loving her awesome sense of humor the best medicine in my opinion. Have a very Merry Christmas! xo

  12. What can I say, dear Princess ... my best wishes for The Empress and You!

  13. Believe me, I know how you're feeling my dear Princess. And this will be your best Christmas as it is always the best in times of tials. We are both lucky to have such wonderful ladies in our lives!

    The very best to you and the divine "Impératice"! ;)

  14. I went to grab the free newspaper that's been hanging out of my bristled slot since this morning and your card was underneath it. Your golden Australian bauble shall join MJ's moggies on the hearth. Thank you Princess. It's too late to send one now, but I shall put you in my postcard address book.

  15. I love her attitude and she's lucky to have you there with her. But I'm so sorry for the journey you're about to embark on..... and I hope all of the tests come back with more positive news for your Empress.

    Hang in there Princess, stay in the moment, enjoy every minute of this Holiday and know you're loved.


  16. Oh darling. That's all I can say at the moment, with you so far away, I just want to give you a massive hug.

    The Empress, you named her well. What style. So good to see it reflected in you.

    Much love my darling to you both.