One Two Buckle My Shoe....

Hello Dhaaarlings...

I'm busy counting... 

Our government have decided to count everything and everyone in Australia... 

And they have chosen tonight to do it!....

 I guess it's because they are planning a big National sale and are wanting to know what else they have left to sell off... (not much I would expect as they have just about sold out... er... I mean... sold off most of the public infrastructure and land holdings already)... 

Sadly.... I discovered that like many things there is catch....

I learned of this event last week as I tripped over a Large bundle of paperwork stuffed under the mat at the front door on my way to collecting the mail. At the letterbox, amongst the cards, letters and bills... I found a hand written note informing me that the "Census Forms" were shoved under the mat at the front door... which is obviously what had caused my little trip...

"How thoughtful!" I thought. "Could they not have knocked?" 

Sadly... no mention on the note of the time for a return visit to count things... 

The Empress was excited and got to baking up a storm in anticipation... We... the Empress and I were eagerly awaiting notification from "The Census" and had still not heard when their nice worker would be paying us a visit. So I phoned  the office to enquire as to what time their lovely staff member would be calling back to count things...  "Just so we know when to put the kettle on, ready for a lovely afternoon tea while they are here counting things"...  

But alas... Here's the catch... It turns out that We have to do the counting ourselves!... Apparently the government cannot afford to send a person around to count things as it would cost them too much... but they can spend lots and lots on other peoples wars and send refugees back to other countries which I think probably costs them a lot more...

"You're a silly daft twat Princess! Read the front page where it says "To be completed by the householder" said the lovely gentleman on the end of the phone... "Oh... so I am to complete the forms myself...

 Will you be paying me instead for the use of my time to complete your forms on your behalf?" I enquired genteelly... and was informed....that I shouldn't be so "bloody ridiculous" and that I should have intercourse with someone called

"Off"... I must admit it is not often that one is wished such pleasure....  

None the less.... Here I am slaving over hundreds of prying questions that it informs me I must answer truthfully... Well I never! 

Oh.... Now I've lost count again...

Question One.

"Number of people present tonight at the location that this form is being completed at?" Surely they mean "At your Palais!" I should re word that question for them I think...*uses white out fluid...  inhales fumes*

Ahh... That 's much better...

"Let me see now.... The Empress... that's one... and  Princess....  that's two" 

Oh I can see it is going to be a very long night... Dhaaarlings...

Here's a picture of a commemorative coin marking the occasion for you to look at.... whilst I'm busy counting things.... 

It no doubt will eventually be joining a few others in rubbing holes in my trouser pockets... 

Here it is again in close up....

Now... If you  will excuse me I have more sniffing... I mean...counting to do...

Now.... Where was I again?... Oh that's right

Question 1......