Monday, June 13, 2011

Princess Presents... Your "Fabulous Frock" Contestants....

Ladies... Gentlemen....
 and those of you that claim to be neither...

On behalf of the Organising Committee...

Princess would like to welcome you all to the Palais de Steff

Fabulous Frock Competition 2011

Princess has been quite overwhelmed with the number of eager participants  willing to show you their wares

Now remember Dhaaarlings... there are two categories that you are voting for

The "Most Appealing" 
 "Most Appalling" 

gowns of the evening..

And don't for get you could win this...
A...ahem... slightly used hip flask... Well i had to drink something while dealing with a full slot!

Allow me to present to you this years
"12 Fabulous Frock" entrants...

And now... It gives Princess great pleasure...
 to introduce to you someone whom... I know... has given us all so much pleasure and is one of last years joint winners for her most appealing entry...


Mistress MJ

Mistress MJ Says....

"This red velvet dressing gown was designed by Walter Plunkett and worn by Vivien Leigh’s character “Scarlett O’Hara” in the 1939 classic film “Gone with the Wind.”

Why, you ask, am I wearing a dressing gown to a ball?
Well, you see, I know the gown will be torn from my heaving bosom as soon as Rhett Butler fixes his gaze upon me.

See what I mean?

*Rousing round of applause*

Thank you Mistress that was quite eye opening for all of us... 
And now having seen Mistress MJ...
 both in and out of her wind catcher...


I present...
Contestant #2
 Damien Oz

Welcome Damien... a first time entrant as he gracefully takes to the catwalk...
Damien has entered gowns for both categories this year...
 The "Most Appealing" 
 "Most Appalling" gowns of the evening... 
Over to you Damien

Frock 1) "My Fabulous Frock".......

a) White would ONLY ever be what I wear as it is tres classique like mois!!! 
b)  Because.. Mistress MJ said the only ever colour I was allowed to wear was dog collar black"

Frock 2  "My Shocking Frock"

"This pink monstrosity is actually a dress that CHOLA’s  wouldn’t go near with their sharpies."
(to discover what a "chola" is darlings go back and click on the link... I had to)

Thank you Damien Oz... 
Give a big round of applause to our first "Catwalk Virgin"...


And now... I present for your enjoyment...

Contestant #3
 Mr XL

This year XL has chosen to go weeth something compleetely deeefferent...

Could it be the cigarette holder?
XL has instructed the orchestra to fire up as he would like to perform for your listening pleasure...

What a saucy little mix you are Mr Xl... Don't think I didn't notice you flirting with that chorus girl...

A round of applause for Mr Xl as he returns to a "ChiChi" or 3 back stage..



Contestant #4


 Mr Puggerpete does not seem to have his own blog as yet so I can't send you over for a visit. 
But as a newcomer and first time performer at the Palais... (Princess has spied him lurking about the Palais grounds) and although having not been formally introduced....
It seems he is willing to grace the catwalk with a partner to assist in displaying his gowns in each categorie...

Over to you Puggerpete...

Frock 1

. " This lovely dress has the added benefit of a Velcro closing in back; so much easier to remove... so I can wear him later"

Frock 2

b)  "The only redeeming value of this outfit are the diamonds that you can pawn"
Thank you Puggerpete... You will find the Pawn Shoppe just to the left of the Porn Shop as you make your way backstage... Both of them have balls hanging out front... Count them to work out the difference

Please but you hands together for our second "Catwalk Virgin"... Puggerpete


Our next entrant is
Contestant #5
 The lovely... Miss Scarlet

Miss Scarlet says....

"I thought that a cute dog might help me win"....

Along with  a little light entertainment perhaps?....
Sing along now Folks!

Arf Arf... I mean... thank you Miss Scarlet that was a lovely interlude....
A round of applause for Miss Scarlet as she makes he way back stage...
Oh... and Miss Scarlet... I do hope you will be arranging to clean up that little accident your doggie seems to have had.... Perhaps struck by stage fright?

Next on the Catwalk is...
Contestant #6
 Designing Wally

Designing Wally has entered frocks in both voting categories
And he too is a cat walk  first timer..

Frock 1

"I always am able to pull off (on every level), a strange and voluminous outfit".....
A ball, a trip to the grocer's or a dump, this outfit works for me....


"If I must wear shoes; they must be of the fruit-stripe-gum variety, as well as sensible."

Frock 2

"If I didn't like you I might wear this"....

Front Window

Rear Window

What a luscious "leopard skinny stringy thingy" you have displayed for us Designing Wally...

A round of applause for contestant number 6 as he steps gracefully... oops I think you got a heel caught in one of your strings... Either that... or miss scarlet is still hunting down a bucket and mop...

 Houseboys! Assist Mr Wally backstage please... and I hope you are making all of our contestants very comfortable back there....

*giggles and laughter from backstage*

And Now... Ladies..Gentlemen and and those of you who profess not to be either... welcome to the stage....

Contestant #7. 

Roses has entered 4 lovely gowns
This is Miss Roses "Virginal Voyage" down the Catwalk
so welcome her warmly...

And in her own words...
"I found more appallings than appealings"....

Frock 1

"Appalling Gown"

Frock 2. "Full on Frump"

Frock 3. "Not a Nightie"

Frock 4. "A Wedding Gown"

"Though I will say... 
I would get married in the Wedding Dress, should RDJ ever get his shit sorted and ask."

Thank you Roses for your fashion insights.... 
Houseboys would you mind calling Mr "RDJ" to see if he has sorted his shit yet? We can't keep Miss Roses waiting While she's all done up in that lovely frock..
"What's that? He just has another case to get through? Oh... a case of Vodka!
And he might be a little late as he'll be in rehab...."
"Well boys... escort Miss Roses to the Vodka Fountain... I can see she will be needing something to stem those tears....

A round of applause for our 4th "Catwalk Virgin" Miss Roses if you please

now... our next entrant is no stranger to the Palais de Steff Catwalk... 
Welcome our joint winner from last year...

Contestant  #8
 Miss Savannah

Savannah has entered both categories again this year and is starting off with this Appalling entry... or better put in her own words...

Frock 1

"Unflattering OMG WTF was he thinking entry"

"This is my entry for the dress i'd never, ever fact, i can't even believe it was designer with the idea of being public without massive drugs being consumed."

Frock 2

"A Balenciaga that i wish I could wear and be belle of the ball again"

Thank you Savannah... 
A round of applause if you would for our Southern Belle...


Our next entrant is the winner of last years "Most Appalling Frock"
Let us see if he has managed to up the ante
I give you...

Contestant  #9


Petra has provided a brief description of her choices of gowns...

Frock 1

"My first of three divine gowns is this black feathery ensemble with matching hat and golden thigh high boots. All by Dolce & Gabbana of course."

Frock 2

"Or how about this divine white Roberto Cavalli gown?"

Frock 3

"Or how about this gorgeous white dress with diamantés.

I am certainly looking forward to seeing what everyone else is wearing even though all mine are sure winners."

Frock 4

"This dress - for Pride. Not sure it's appropriate though"

Oh Petra... that last one is more than appropriate I'd say...

A round of applause for CyberPetra as she leaves the catwalk to accost her throngs of awaiting fans....

Oh and Petra Darling... I think we might all know someone that could put that last little "Pride Number" to good use in their Bathroom...

Speaking of Witch...
I present for you our next entrant...

Contestant #10

Mr Inexplicable DeVice

In his own words...

Frock 1

This Fabulous Frock I found here: and is a truly cosmic creation.  It would be ideal for displaying my alabaster legs, just be careful not to hoik my skirt up any more - I don't want you all seeing my docking hatch!

Frock 2 and 3...

"In keeping with the Star Trek theme...
 the Frightening one belongs to one Lwaxana Troi and is accessorised 
with an almost equally ghastly frock worn by her daughter, Deanna.
"Lwaxana's always over the top as is evidenced by those frightful shoulder pad/puffs.  Deanna normally looks pretty good, but this pink disaster can only be bettered by burning it.  

Plus, it 'tastefully' highlights her vaginal area with a big pink polyester vag!


Thank you Mr DeVice now would you kindly leave the catwalk before you manage to blow someone else..........up.

Our next entrant and first time cat walker here at the Palais is...

Contestant #11

 Mr 63Mago

Frock 1

"A comfortable Greek ensemble ready for any occasion",

And this is the occasion Dhaaarlings so get dancing!

A round of applause if you please....

Frock 2

 "and something by Daghilev I never would wear..." 

Well Mr Mago.Thank you for demonstrating your fine expertise at performing "The Zorba" along with a couple of your friends.

I couldn't help my self ... just had to join in... and now I'm all puffed...

A round of applause please for Mr Mago...


And now to our final entrant
Contestant #12

Whom is also a first timer on the Palais catwalk and has worn a lovely wedding gown to finish the show for us...

Frock 1

"t'was a beautiful wedding dress made from faux human flesh which would have made Ilse Koch green with envy. It was exquisite. From Skinbag."

Thank You Miss Mitzi... the house boys are standing by with the sunscreen sprayer...

Give all our contestants a big hand now including our "Catwalk Virgins"

And that Ladies and Gentlemen and those of you that claim to be neither
concludes our catwalk show.

Start your voting!

Remember you are voting for 

"The Most Appealing Frock"


"Most Appalling Frock"

And I'll see you all at the Winter Ball for the announcement of our Winners

And Good Luck to all our lovely contestants....

Oh how remiss of me to forget to mention that the voting lines will stay open
Midnight Tuesday14th June.
Where ever you happen to be in the world!

Our operators are standing by to take your call....


  1. Appealing

    Damien 1
    Puggerpete 1
    Miss Scarlet & her little dog, too!
    Wally 2
    Roses 1
    Roses 2
    Roses 3
    Roses 4
    Savannah 2
    Pete 2
    Pete 3
    Inexplicable 1
    Inexplicable 3
    Herr Mago 1
    Herr Mago 2


    Damien 2
    Puggerpete 2
    Wally 1
    Savannah 1
    Pete 1
    Pete 4
    Inexplicable 2

    And a special vote of appreciation for our Hostess With The Mostess, Princess!

  2. Well thank you MR XL
    I knew that I could count on you for a confusing start to the voting!

  3. Princess - did you get his innuendo ???

  4. My Dear Wally
    I have had quite enough "inmyendoh" thank you. I've been stretched as it is.
    But, I was not totally unaware of Mr XL's allusion to your entry darling.
    I did make me titter... a little.

  5. Well It's sleepy time for me, love.....
    Will I dream of frocks appealing or appalling ???
    One must digest.

  6. I vote for the fabulous frock: MJ

    Appalling frock: Cyberpete.

    Whaddya mean 'fix'?

  7. *glares at Mistress MJ for having the most appealing frock*

    I will have to consider the most appalling...

  8. I'm overwhelmed and must have a lie down.

    Bring me my fainting chaise, would you?

    *examines fine print*

    When is the deadline for voting?

  9. Appealing: Savannahs' Balenciaga

    Appalling: Designing Wally's Rose McGowan string thing. I believe it is giving me palpitations.

  10. Most appealing: I'm quite fond of Damien Oz's pink number.

    Most appalling: Mago's shoddy knitwear in pic 2 it makes the Turin Shroud look sexy.

  11. For the most appalling, I am in agreement with Stacia regarding the string bag mishap... BUT... my vote goes to Mitzi... just for the thought of a skin dress. And I don't like the colour.

  12. most appealing: xl and Miss Dietrich

    most appalling: designing wally and that horrendous string thing!

    thank you for again hosting the event of the season (take your pick, summer or winter), sugar! xoxoxoxo

  13. The most appalling "frog" is the stomach-turning "thing" Mitzi entered. The other rugs (even this string-desaster) are terrible gowns, this (thank God!)fake-meat-glob steps outside the boundaries of civilization, beyond "taste" (what a word in this connection). A healthy puke in the bucket for "Skinbag"!

    For the most appealing I have to look.

    Thank you for holding this competition, dear Princess!

  14. ROSES! I don't think I can ever forgive you! Hrmpf!

    I will be back to submit my votes later

  15. OK, so I've looked. I've inspected and I must say this is a sad lot to be honest.

    Besides my gowns, there's only really one other choice for fabulous gown. So my vote (not being allowed to vote for my own Gown #1) for fabulous gown goes to: Savannahs Balenciaga (We HEART Balenciaga)

    There's so many choices for most appalling gown, but it's got to be Roses #2. So poorly executed and ew.

    Just a thought, who wears a poo coloured wedding gown?

  16. most appealing Miss Savannah's Balenciaga.

    Most appaling frock? many to choose from!
    I'll pick Mitzi's synthetic flesh gown perhaps

  17. I'm going with Jason's choices, above.

    Miss Savannah for appealing and Mitzi for appalling.

    I don't know which made me throw up more...Mitzi's frock or the thought of seeing IVD's "docking hatch."

  18. four stars-damien in that white number.
    (i want to see him IN IT)

    zero stars- mitzi in the skin.
    (enjoyed the extra wrinkly lips in front)

  19. Decisions... Decisions...

    After careful condsideration, my vote for the most Appealing Frock goes to Designing Wally's voluminous Frock 1 because it reminds me of something my idol, Margo Leadbetter, would wear.
    (Sorry Savannah - even though that balenciaga is to die for, the Margo-look wins out for me, but I so wanted to vote for you!)

    The most Appalling Frock has to be Mitzi's truly repulsive faux human flesh wedding dress.

    * ach ick gag *

    Although, that Roberto Cavalli gown with the over exaggerated 'boulder holders' that 'Petra submitted runs it a close second.
    I can't believe Kylie would wear something so needlessly bulk-making!

  20. Does CyberPete's feathery D&G number come with the houseboys?

    You could hide the houseboys under that gown, couldn't you?

  21. Should we be concerned that Herr Mago has gone Greek?

  22. It seems that everyone on here (except me and XL to some degree) has truly appalling tastes.

    I smuggle houseboys out of your place in that dress MJ. It's got a golden belt with all the trimmings of Wonder Woman in it so don't try and stop me.

  23. Thank you, Pete! That's the nicest complement I've had in ages!

  24. Damien Oz-most appealing- Classic white simplicity and and versatile too. Throw on a veil and you're a bride; throw on a cardigan and you're ready for the supermarket.
    Designing Wally, most appalling for that string thing. Who are those people and where were they going? Another example of the many scary things in the world.

  25. Hello Dhaaarlings i'm just doing a quick houseboy count.... something about a "Pilferer" in our midst's...

  26. And don't think i'm not wearing my mirror toed shoes Petra!

  27. So many great entries, in both categories...
    I've narrowed my selections & will be back after I put a load on and can think clearly.

  28. Putting a load on? Is that a euphemism? Or is it laundry Day in Queens?

  29. CLEARLY I think mine are the best however if I was ***reluctantly*** forced to vote it would an even tie between MJ's Scarlett's bed robe- who wouldn't have that gorgeous creation ripped from ones bosom


    Cyberpete's Frock 1 - i DO so love me a combination of black and a nice big bell bottom....

  30. PS Most appalling Mago's knitwear in pic 2 - the last time I saw something that ratty I was stepping over Miss Scarlett lying in a gutter during a rainstorm his mascara forming RATWOMAN eyes...

    Ooops - didnt see you there Miss Scarlett - HEY BABE !!!!!

  31. I see everything, Damien.

    *makes pertinent note on Damien's dossier*


  32. HIS?????? I'll have you know I am all ratWOMAN.

  33. MJ's heaving bossom, Scarlett's Strapse, Savannah's elegance, Wally's PEP, and all the other nice entries ...

    My vote for the most appealing goes to Damien's number One, the white one. Simple, elegant, nice place to stay unseen ...

  34. ***blows condescending but oh-so-cute kisses to MISS Scarlett***

    One word darling - epilady :)

  35. Norma - If I win - Ill model it :)

  36. I'm still wearing my mirror toed shoes Mr Mago... I can see you hiding under there... Please don't be shy...

    *note to self... check under Damien and Petra's skirts for hidden houseboys on their departure...*

  37. After considerable thought and much beer, I will now cast my votes...

    Though not strange & voluminous, MJ's selection is Red and Voluminous and most appealing....

    Mitzi's skin wedding dress makes my skin crawl and I find it most appalling...