Party Games at the Palais.....

The following is another excerpt from a regular humour column
that appeared in a magazine called
"The Auatralian Womans Weekly" which appeared on June 10th 1933...
"Its star attraction was L. W. Lower Australia's leading humourist at the time.


Through  the depression and the war years Lennie Lower kept them laughing...
With, his outrageous columns on anything from revising an encyclopaedia while
eating a stolen orange to, hobnobbing with hitler"

PartyTricks that will Thrill the Guests...

Lennie Lower


The imminence of festivities invariably demands the blowing up of balloons and other preparations for parties.

Too many hostesses leave their preparations till the last minute and are caught in the act of teaching the butlers how to form fours and leap obstacles.

The careful hostess will see that the sandwiches are cut at least a week beforehand.

Oyster patties and other hors devours, as they say in the French language,

May be left till later. Speaking of oyster patties, the oysters will go much further if the shells are left on.

In this day, economy must be studied, and I have a number of cement scones at home which have lasted me for the last sixteen parties.

However, it is not these minor culinary details which engage our attention at the moment.

The thing is to make the party go with a swing.

Indoor games play a big part.

Puss in the Corner is a very nice game, especially when you have thirty five guests and only four corners.

Pop Goes the Weasel is jolly if one can get hold of a good weasel,

and it is so weasely played.

Not like Postman’s Knock, which, needs a certain amount of tact,

Lipstick,

and Stamina.

The hostess should see that, right from the start, every guest is made to feel at home.
With married men, a smack in the face as they enter the house is sufficient.

Women should be spoken to in a friendly, tactful way, such as, 'My you do look haggard!' and little touches like that.

Butlers should be oiled up about announcing the guests as they arrive.

For example: 'Mr Psmythe-Harris…Drunk.'

'Mrs Cholmondely Jones…With a new hat on.'

'Mr Kennedy Clofe! Lock up the spoons.'

The toast of the Royal Family should then be drunk...

 Starting off with the King and working down through the Princes...

Past the Duchess of Teck, and so on to William of Orange.

Then a little music...

At the more pretentious parties it is usual for the hostess to engage

Professional Entertainers

Failing this, it is quite easy to provide a little amusement oneself.

The hardened host or hostess will find that a game of 'Hidings and Seekings' is essential at various stages of the party.

The host or hostess invariably goes 'IT'. He or she counts a hundred while the guests scatter and hide. 'IT' then cries in a loud voice, 'Coming...... ready or not!'

He, or she, then lights a cigarette, puts his or her feet up in the mantelpiece, pours him or herself out a rum, and says,

'Well, thank heavens for a little piece and quietness'

After about half an hour the hidden guests will give themselves up voluntarily.

The game of 'Murders' is still very fashionable.


You draw lots to see who is going to be the murderer, and nobody knows who it is. Then you put the lights out and then the murderer pretends to murder someone, and when the lights go on again you’ve got to find out who did it.

It makes the game much more interesting if someone is really and actually murdered.


People who insist on singing 'Beneath Thy Window' and 'I'll Sing Three Songs of Araby' are good subjects and would never be missed. I have got rid of a lot of people that way.

The finish of a party is no less important then the start. The hostess will usually find herself left with about twelve people who have missed their last trains, trams or boats home.

The usual procedure is for the hostess to go to her husband and say in a hoarse , hysterical voice....

'What the devil are we going to do with these confounded rotters?'

The husband answers , 'Wassermarrer?'

The wife then replies, 'Bah'

'You really must stay with us tonight'. You couldn't possibly go home now...

Oh, no! No trouble at all'!

 'I'll soon fix you up.'

Then having got them all bedded down, she says to her husband, 'Come on.'

They leave the house, first setting fire to it in several places.

This saves all the washing-up.  

September 23 1933.


From the book 'Humour in the Weekly' by Currey O'Neil