Saturday, October 30, 2010

Anyone For Coffee?....

I need a Coffee...














Won't you join me Dhaarling?...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Now Showing at "The Palais"



Hello Dhaaarlings...

Doesn't Wednesday come around Quickly these days?...

Our Host MilkRiver Madman continues to do a great job coming up with challenging movie themes each week... and again this week he has not let us down...

The theme for this week Wednesday 27th October is..


"Favourite Buddy Movie

Can't say that I'm a Big Big Fan of Buddy movies as a genre but there is one movie that I always think of as being the epitome of "Mate ship"
A story based on factual events that in real life were utterly horrific.
It is a tale friendship and rivalry that follows a group of young country boys from the Australian bush. From off the farms and small country townships
that full of youthful exuberance and down right naivety decide to join up for "The Big Adventure" of the Great War. (WW1)
It's a movie about mates and mate ship and the bonds that are forged in the best and worst of circumstances.

And the futility of war...




Happy MCW....

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Finally...



A mobile phone that I can understand Dhaarlings...






Monday, October 25, 2010

Princess Remembers...A love Story....

Hello Dhaaarlings...

I love wisteria in full bloom and I  feel just have to show you my wisteria vine...
And... I can relate to you the reason for this deep seated love...



Wisteria is another of my favourite blooms and like many other flowers.. one that evokes many mixed memories from my childhood

When I was just a young slip of a Princess...
My paternal grandparents lived on an a small twenty acre farmlet that had it's own creek that ran into a dam. Set with gently undulating fields and partially covered in native bushland. 
Nanna and Pa raised a very small herd of beef cattle... about 6-10 beasts every year. Of which, they would have  one or two of them butchered to supply their own meat... and the remainder would be sold to market to help supplement their income.

They were pretty self sufficient back then... having a black and white house cow called Queenie. I remember that Queenie was... come milking time... a cantankerous old girl. And without fail...would either attempt to kick over the milking bucket usually when it was half full or...
I if you had forgotten to attach her tail to the rusty bulldog clip that hung from a light chain nailed in to the side of her milking stall... would never fail to give you a suddenly smarting whack in the face.
It was then that you remembered. Sometimes it seemed that this was her sole aim in life...
For the rest of the time she was a delightful old moocher.

 They had a very productive vegetable garden which was always bursting with seasonal produce. The orchard sported apple, peach, apricot, lemon mandarin, orange, plum, quince, and loquat trees. Blackberries grew wild along the dam wall and there was always a bed full of strawberries... netted to keep the thieving birds at bay. The resultant bounty of vegetables and fruits... each year in season... Nanna would preserve as jam or sauces, bottling the stone fruit and pears, or bake the remainder into wonderful pies and tarts. We kids would help with every step in the process from picking preparing, cooking to eating...

There was a chicken yard and two coops that kept us all supplied with fresh eggs daily and... on special occasions... fresh chicken.
In those days chicken was a real special meat to have and considered to be a luxury. 

Although.... for the hen that had stopped laying or the inevitable young rooster causing too much trouble in the hen house... it wasn't too special an occasion!.
Nor was it too special for us kids watching Nanna as she wielded the axe over the unsuspecting bird on the chopping block.
And one day having to chase after the now headless bird running about the yard after escaping Nanna's grip... and then having to help her to gut the still warm cadaver in preparation for a sumptuous Sunday roast.

"If you kids want to eat... Start Plucking!" She would say as she hauled the recently rampaging bird... out of the boiling copper in the laundry.




 
Right down the back of the yard...
At the end of a long brick path leading from the back door of the house...
Stood the "Thunderbox"!
In other words... the oindoor toilet.
Hereafter referred to as... "The Old Dunny".



 
Which... brings me to this story about a wisteria vine and the old Dunny at my Grandparents farm.

The old Dunny was constructed of wood. Most of which had been hewn by my Pa, from radiata pine trees on the farm. It was about four foot wide and six foot deep... seven foot in height with a dirt floor and a tin roof.
A door made from the same wooden planks as on the walls was hung to allow for privacy and could be closed to keep out the weather by hanging a bit of old fencing wire over a nail just inside the door. Inside the Dunny, an enclosed wooden bench seat had been crafted and a hole cut into the top of the bench which was where you sat... comfortably and unassumingly over the big metal pan underneath... when you "needed to go".

The hole in the seat could be covered with a wooden removable lid when not in use.
 I don't ever remember a toilet seat as such... Just the hole cut out with the edges rounded and sanded smooth...

These old Dunny's could, as you might well imagine get quite...well... stinky particularly during the high heat of a hot Australian Summer
(Or any other time for that matter)

So as was often the case, many a scented tree or vine was planted alongside an old Dunny. It was a regular practice used to provide screening and shade from the intense sunshine and heat... and... as a foil to aromatically camouflage the often reeking stench coming from the Dunny...
 Despite the regular sprinkling of sawdust and wood shavings... scooped from a bucket in the corner behind the door... and the liberal sloshing of liquid into the pan from a big brown bottle full of Lysol!

Fragrant plants like climbing rose, jasmine, and lilac were often among  some of the popular choices used for this purpose...

Well... Nanna had chosen to plant a wisteria beside the Dunny.
 And each year in late Autumn after flowering and losing its verdant green canopy of leaves she would almost religiously go "down the back" armed with secateurs and a pruning saw give it a "Damn good going over"
.
Thus.. keeping the sometimes unruly beast in check. And every year it remained in check up until the year that she died...

 But... by that time... Nanna and Pa had already put in a "modern" outdoor septic system.

An often heard saying is... "Built like a brick shit house"
Prefixed by He's... She's or It's...

Well... I don't know... but in my mind I think the term was coined after the construction of Pa's new Dunny...
But I might be wrong...

A solid brick "lavatory" was sturdily constructed...
It was a family affair with Pa Supervising. My Dad and the Uncles doing the bulk of the work and even Pop... my great grandfather... bought in in an advisory capacity.

My Brother and the "Cousins" were the designated  "Gofers"...
Sent to go for bricks, buckets of water from the tank to mix the mortar and more beers from the fridge.
As I recall... it was very thirsty work.

 The walls were double bricked and it was annexed on to the existing detached brick laundry containing the old wringer and washing machine, the fire lit copper used for boiling the sheets (or unfortunate Sunday lunches), the milk separator and various stores lining the walls on shelves in metal biscuit tins and big glass jars. 

In the lavatory a brand new porcelain cistern and bowl set that flushed with water were installed.
It even had a wooden seat with a hinged lid that you could open and close.
The room had a small glazed window built into the wall above the cistern.
 And a little hand basin fixed to one wall with a cold running water tap!
Nanna always kept a little block of soap, like the ones that I would later discover in motels... and a little hand towel hung over a handrail beside the sink.
Very fancy and with all these modern conveniences.

 Nanna was so excited to show us kids how it all worked.  We were fascinated. She lined us up and then let us one by one take a turn at pressing the cistern button, watching the water come gushing out around the bowl.. swirling around and disappearing... accompanied by gurgling  noises as the water traveled down the pipes.
And she was also very proud of her newest acquisition.
 A toilet roll holder and accompanying  roll of toilet paper!
She tore off a piece so that we could all have a feel. It was so soft...

Gone forever were the days of sitting around with pairs of scissors.
Cutting up old news papers and magazines into squares to use for Dunny paper... pinned through one corner on an exposed and bent upwards six inch nail as as was the case in the old Dunny.
We were all amazed by the marvel of modern technology.

And so... with the new modern marvel installed... the old Dunny was rudely abandoned.
And over time...sadly neglected though nostalgically at least by me... not forgotten.
It no longer held the pivotal role of being the main seat in the house.
A position suddenly usurped by this new and flashy or...flushy... interloper...
 No longer the nocturnally torch-lit haven... providing momentary safety from driving wind and rain during a frightening thunder storm. No longer the haunt for a sneaky ciggy with the cousins... surreptitiously pinched from an unwary parents' mislayed packet.
No longer the place for a quiet read of a "penny dreadful" on a balmy afternoon or... the regular rendezvous for a furtively fleeting session after school of "you show me yours" with the other kids from down the road.

 But.. I digress...



Pa never pruned the wisteria again after Nanna died.
And over the ensuing years... like the rest of the garden... It was left to ramble and roam.
 Each season the neglected wisteria would get bigger and bigger, growing up and over the roof of the old dunny... with a canopy of mauve flowers that eventually stretched for thirty feet in all directions... providing welcoming cool and scented shade in the middle of the summer heat.
And as its tendrils eventually reached to the ground...became a great place to hide when avoiding seekers.

In bloom it was a sight to behold remaining majestic and spectacular in it's splendorous display.

But sadly under all that weight... the poor abandoned dunny that had so well served the family for many a year... began to develop a subtle lean. And each season as the lean became more pronounced its old weathered boards began to split and bow out of shape. Its once sheltering tin roof... rusting away to form larger and larger holes... It's door tiredly hanging off it's rusty hinges.

Each year the wisteria continued to grow larger, stronger and more unruly...The old dunny would lean over even more. Visibly straining to remain upright. 



Eventually... the weight of the Dunny's heavy burden became too much.
 And one day it just gave up and toppled completely.
Finally beaten.
 It lay exhausted... sprawled under a mountain of mauve blossom and tangled vine. A pitiful shadow of it's former proud and glorious self.

I cried the day that Pa finally pruned the wisteria.

He took to it with the chainsaw...

and then the axe...

and then the mattock... grubbing out the roots.

The wisteria stumps and vines along with the remaining planks of the old dunny were unceremoniously dragged out into the paddock... piled up into a large pyre... doused with kerosene and set to with a match

I remember standing there watching the flames getting higher and taking hold... tears streaking my face as history... part of my own history... was slowly lifted up in a curling smokey ascension to the heavens...


I really loved my Nanna

Saturday, October 23, 2010

It's Big in Denmark...


Hello Dhaaarlings...

This is what Blogger Friend  "CyberPete" 
( My favourite little Danish Tart Pastry and Fellow Infomaniac Bitch )

 is listening to at the moment... He tells me that it has become quite a popular tune and video in Denmark

 So... Go on over and "Sayhey" some time...



For the life of me...
 I can't understand what the fuss is all about?

And I've watched it like 20 times already and the only words that I can decipher are...

"Mean Baby's Banging's Bitch's Beautiful"...
and something about "Louis Vutton"

Perhaps it's sung in a foreign language?
Oh well... best be pressing the play button again...

 I'm wondering if there are hidden messages in the tattoos on those hunky singers with their heaving chests?... 

I may have to pause in several places to check again...

Enjoy your weekend Dhaaarlings...

And thank you CyberPete for the link

I'll be here at the Palais... Still pressing Play!

Friday, October 22, 2010

What I'm Listening to Today...

Hello Dhaaarlings...
 
I'm Smitten..



Kazaky...They call themselves...
I don't know if they are new on the block or I just haven't been watching lately but they are a very clever and energetic group of boys...

And they all look fabulous in heels Dhaarling...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Potato Princess...

Hello Dhaarlings...

 
Spring Has Sprung and I've been busy in my Garden...
The Potato Patch just seems to be getting bigger and bigger every time I get out in the garden...
You may recall that it started out like this....


Some old car tyres and and a bag of seed potatoes...

Which turned into this...


And then to this..


And now looks like this ....



And this week I have been planting out more potatoes
 down in the back corner of the garden

Here is spud patch one... replete with Japala Pumpkin seedlings...
(You may have to embiggerate the pic to see them)


Along with some Butternut and Golden Nugget Pumpkin seeds...
 which are as yet... to poke through the top soil.

And here is the second



Right over in the very back corner to the right is Patch Two

 And then along in front of the Climbing Roses I've planted out

Two different varieties of Rasberry...



And a Thornless Blackberry... 


I'm looking forward to seeing if they crop in the Summer this year...

I just love berries...
Don't You?...

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Now Showing at "The Palais"

Hello Dhaaarlings ....


I've been so busy in the garden this week I almost forgot it was
Movie Clip Wednesday...

This weeks theme from Milk River Madman is...

"Favourite Foreign Actor"

And once again I have had a little trouble settling on just one actor.
Yet... being from Australia... I guess that any actor from overseas would count.
I have decided on choosing...
The boys from the "Monty Python" crew and as they are Poms, they count as foreigners in my book...

A  more talented bunch of funny bastards you will never find.
It was not because of their acting skills but dispite them that these movies worked and the fact that each actor had several character roles to play in each scene. I think that this skill alone is one that deserves kudos in itself.






John Cleese , Eric Idle,  Michael Palin, Graham Chapman, Terry Gilliam
and Terry Jones.
No matter how many times I watch these movies...
I still piss myself laughing...



Happy Movie Clip Wednesday

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Surprised?....





Hell... I  Was Dhaaarlings....


Sunday, October 17, 2010

An Orchid Show...


Hello Dhaaarlings...

I recently took the Empress along to have a look at our local Orchid Clubs Annual Show
Both of us were so excited about getting out for the day we both forgot to take our cameras...
Dispite the lack of pictures of the beautiful displays...
I in my usual fashion I came home sporting four new specimens for the fernery...
 At under $20 each who could resist?...

Two Pink Cymbidiums






One Brown Cymbidium....
That I hope to be much darker than this Light Browny Green one that lives with me already...
 and... as you can see is happily flowering...

The new one is sporting a flower spike which I am eagerly awating to open... so that I can see what colour it truly is.... the waiting is like Christmas...
And...Finally....

  

This Creamy White with a Pale Lemon Center...
Again a Cymbidium.

I also have several huge pots of Cymbidiums that I have inherited from old Uncles and Grandparents
And although the pots that they are in are only small the plants themselves have grown to about 4 foot in diameter!

They are the original form of Cymbidiums I think...



They have a pale green/yellow flower with burgundy spots in their centres



This particular one started out at my Nan's in an old buscuit tin...
35 years ago...
It is now pot-bound and every year has less and less flower spikes

I think that it is about time to take to them all with an axe and re-pot them...

The Axe was suggested by the man at the orchid show

(I guess he knew what he was talking about as he'd won first prize for every plant he had entered in the show)...

So I figure I'll give the axe a go...

I just love Spring... Don't You?...

It Gets Better...






Thankyou to Jason At Nights Is Half Gone

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Please Explaaaain...

I just don't understand...


If you can interpret this sign for me....
I would be most greatful... I'd hate to think I was doing something inappropriate...
Dhaaarlings

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Now Showing at "The Palais"....

Hello Dhaaarlings...


It's Wednesday again...
And this weeks theme for the 13th October 2010 is...

"Favourite Disney Movie (Non Animated)"

Thank you to MilkRiver Madman for another great theme this week... 
And for still holding them reins for Boxer as Madman continues as our current host of Movie Clip Wednesday

Initially... I thought Disney only do mostly animation these days don't they?
But hell was I wrong...Check out a list for yourself here 

Most of you probably have already...

So anyway where was I?... Oh that's right...The theme...

  I went trolling back through the cesspit of my mind in search of something by Disney from the past...

Then I suddenly remembered, a movie that I had once again seen at the local drive- in as a kid.
It was called "The Computer that wore Tennis Shoes"
It sounds like a pretty long winded and crazy name for a movie but hey it was the 60's...

Here's the Trailer 





The story goes something like this....

So a group of college students manage to persuade the town's big businessman, A. J. Arno (Caesar Romero) to donate a computer to their college.

 When the problem- student, Dexter Riley...(A very young Kurt Russell) tries to fix the computer, he gets an electric shock and his brain turns to a computer... so now he remembers everything he reads.

Unfortunately... he also remembers information which was in the computer's memory, like the illegal business Arno is involved in.


Heres a cute little clip to demonstrate the problem


Well the result is that Dexter becomes a "Brainiac"
 and gets the school into the finals of a TV quiz show.

In the mean time Arno realises that the Kid has all this stuff in his head about his business dealings and so kidnaps Dexter.

There's a chase scene when Dexters' mates rescue him...Good verses Evil and all.... thus thwarting Arno in persuing his criminal rackets.

They get Dexter back to the competition just in time... but will he still have his new found powers and be able to save the day?

Honestly... I can't remember but hey... I do remember Kurt Russell...

Happy MCW Dhaarlings...

Monday, October 11, 2010

Getting Jiggy at "The Palais"



Some days it's just so difficult to get the staff to stay focused....




If only they were as energetic in their employ Dhaarlings...




Sunday, October 10, 2010

Two Men on the Mount....

I'm breathless Dhaaarlings I have nothing else to say





Saturday, October 9, 2010

On Special This Week....


Get 'em while they're Hot!

 


What a bargain...

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Princess Performs for your Pleasure....



Hello Dhaarlings...




My Tango Teacher Allejandro.... 
Told me that he was extremely impressed with my progress and...
As I had improved so much during our lessons lately...
He thought that I should demonstrate my new found skills with an   impromptu performance the next time I had guests over to "The Palais"
I was so excited at the thought of taking to the stage wearing heels... with a rose between my teeth... I had the Houseboys prepare my favourite Mantilla that I'd last worn in a production of "The Princess and the Matador" and had been saving for just the right occasion...




Imagine my stunned dismay when Allejandro presented me with a black raincoat and pair of white undies saying "Here you go Princess... pop your costume on"

'I'm not wearing that!' I screamed pointing to the horrid thing.

Yet strangely.... Allejandro can be so forcefully persuasive...

OK OK... So cue the Violin...


The Blind Leading The Blind....







Two women were out for a Saturday stroll

One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua.







 As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend,
 "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."






The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.



The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The Bouncer said, "A Doberman?"

The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."

The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."

The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult,but thought,"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."

The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"

The woman with the Chihuahua said,

"A Chihuahua?

They gave me a fucking Chihuahua?!"



Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Now Showing at "The Palais"


Hello Dhaaarlings..


It's that time of the week again when everyone that want's to participate picks a short movie clip related to the theme picked by our current host over at 'Crown on the Rocks'
Visit Madman at the link below and let him know that you are participating with a post on your Blog in the comment section.
Try to keep the clips shortish (to around 3 minutes...something I almost always fail on) and tell us a little about why you chose the clip to share with us.


And this weeks theme for Wednesday October 6th 2010 from


is

 "Favorite black and white movie"
I love the old silent Charlie Chaplin Movies and my favourite of all time has to be
 "The Kid"
 Starring Chaplin and a very young Jackie Coogan..I just love the dynamics of the on screen relationship of the two and the mischief that the kid gets up to... it never fails to make me laugh.




While I was looking for clips of "The Kid" I stumbled across a clip from the movie "Fashion of 1934"
Starring William Powel and Bette Davis 

Childhood memories came flooding back... I had completely forgotten about this movie until I saw this scene again today. 
It must have been when I was about 4 or 5 years old and remembered watching this scene on TV and being mesmerised by the "Living Harp Ladies"

I remember thinking that I would like to grow up and have one of them... and learn to play it but then thought..What would a harp lady eat?...

And then all these pretty ladies with white hair..dressed in their bathers that looked like what some of the ladies wore at the beach... only prettier... started to dance and wave big feathery fans about... I sat spellbound.

 I knew then what I really wanted.
I wanted my own set of feather fans...
I don't remember how the movie ended as I didn't hang about to find out.

I ran over to my Nanna's place across the paddock and collected all the Chicken feathers that I could find in the Chook yard.
She asked me what I wanted them for and I remember telling her
"Oh I'm just making something"...
I raced back home and found some 'Play Dough' and broke off two lumps and rolled them into balls. I stuck the feathers into the dough in a line like I'd seen and made myself a pair of feather fans.
I practiced the moves like the ladies on the TV... waving them about and spinning around.
I was still dancing around with them when my Dad came home from work.
He asked me if I was trying to fly.
Of course I told him yes... I didn't want him to think I was a sissy...
 But the truth was I was really trying to be one of those pretty ladies dancing with their fans





And finally... here is a montage of quickies from all sorts of Genre's



Oh.. and I forgot to mention my other all time favourite Black and White movie

Hitchcocks' "Psycho"

Happy Movie Clip Wednesday.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Dodgy Transport....



"What a place to Breakdown...I told you we should have taken the bus!"

Monday, October 4, 2010

Flying Monkey Alert.


Hello Dhaarlings...

I was just on my way through to check out my latest purchases for the new orchidarium



When my progress was suddenly bought to a mesmerising halt.

Flying Monkeys had been unleashed within The Palais...

And hoards of guests had arrived without my knowlwdge




So....After seeing to the guests leave...


I just had to book the cheeky monkeys for a private performance...


Saturday, October 2, 2010

"Now Here's Something with Balls"...

Dhaaarlings...

Have you met my new Events Manager?...






Just try keeping your eyes on his balls...

Friday, October 1, 2010

Time for a Break?...

Jailbreak that is...
Make yourself comfortable...
Sit back and relax
And purely enjoy it Dhaarlings...