Hello Dhaaarlings...
Leading us through her daring exploits and the "Eventual Arrest" of her alleged
Evil Twin Sister "Paris"?
Well Dhaaarlings... my sources have it on good authority...
that all the recent to-ing and fro-ing around the Globe was a huge....
Publicity Stunt!!!
Can you believe it?...
Miss Petra is to become....
The new "Foot" of Louboutin!
Seen arriving at a Stylish and Glamorous Gala Launch in Paris this evening
(the City Dhaarlings not her Evil Twin)
Miss Petra gracefully swept over the red carpet in a swathe of figure hugging green silk accompanied by a large purple bow with train... unfortunately covering her lushes luscious arse.
Occasionally exposing herself... her louboutin gripped feet...
A smile of utter contempt... joy... adorning her face as she occasionally spat at ...waved to... a multitude of screaming fans...
It has been reported by guests attending the Bash that...
The Diva... in her usual fashion was seen destroying several magnums of "Dom"...
Followed by copious amounts of "Moet" in between large hand fulls of Chocolates....
"Well... I haven't eaten all day" she was heard to moan to her manager.
Later the Diva was snapped at the after party....
Apparently taking "Porcelain Bus" Driving Lessons...
When asked if she was feeling unwell she replied...
"It must have been someone I ate"
Princess has a word of advice for you Dhaaarling...
Cut back on the Chocolate...
We don't want you ending up looking like....
This...
But not too much either Dhaaarling...
Can't have you falling off all those new Louboutins now can we?
After her realease from being banged up....
Evil Twin Paris has returned to her regular employ...
What a slut.
ReplyDeleteDamn that made me laugh.
ReplyDeleteEspecially as I could see it happening, just like that.
That Petra is SUCH an attention whore.
ReplyDeleteOnly 'occasionally' spat at- I mean, waved to her fans?
ReplyDeleteWe might have known it would all be a cunning stunt.
Too right darlings!
ReplyDeleteYou may kiss my Louboutin platform boots but don't drool or I'll kick youin the face, dearies
Is it wrong that Petra is becoming my new idol?
ReplyDeleteSx
...sorry, Mr Devine, but I'm going to have to nick 'cunning stunt'. I think I will spend the day trying to weave it into all of my comments.
Dear Polka Dot Queen
ReplyDelete"What a slut."
Well your Royal High and Mightiness... I guess it takes one to Know one...
Welcome to the Palais... and I see from your appearance here that you actually survived the "Great Kabiki Smackdown"
Shame...
And yes... Sluts are us ...
Dear Roses
"Damn that made me laugh.
Especially as I could see it happening, just like that."
As reported Darling unfolding before my eyes.... Did I laugh? You Betcha...
Dear MJ
"That Petra is SUCH an attention whore
Well... she is a high maintenance Queen after all... Evil Twin... Ha!
Dear Mr De Vice
"Only 'occasionally' spat at- I mean, waved to her fans?
We might have known it would all be a cunning stunt"
I believe that it was her "Cunning Stunt" that was being exposed....
Dear Petra
"Too right darlings!
You may kiss my Louboutin platform boots but don't drool or I'll kick you in the face, dearies"
And you may kiss my Royal Arse Deary.... or I'll be turning those Louboutin's into very expensive pair of "Congratulatory Butt Plugs" as a gift for you Dhaaarling....
Dear Miss Scarlet
"Is it wrong that Petra is becoming my new idol?
Sx"
YES!
...sorry, Mr Devine, but I'm going to have to nick 'cunning stunt'. I think I will spend the day trying to weave it into all of my comments.
Might I suggest that instead of minding your "P's and Q's" you be very careful in your quest with minding your "St's and C's"