Louboutin Lifter... Hunt Continues...
Interpol reports that they are narrowing the search for the notorious
Miss Petra remains on the run...
Police confirm they have had reports on numerous sightings from across the globe...
Canadian authorities report that
a
"Mistress MJ"
Of
Was approached by a distraught Diva demanding...
"I need to rapidly change my appearance Dearie... I want Lips This Big"
"I tried to explaining that there probably wasn't enough collagen in all of Canaidia to meet her demanding requirement of Big Lips" said Mistress MJ....
"But I did say if she'd like to wait I'd arrange for her a special butterstick massage... an unruly bush trim and an arsenic anal bleaching with our head beautician "Miss Scarlet" "....
 |
| Head Beautician Miss Scarlet. |
... while I rang around our collagen suppliers"... Continued MJ
"I just knew she was going to be a High Maintenence Queen from the moment I clapped eyes on her" she added...
"And before Miss Scarlet had even started to warm her buttersticks and start strapping "Miss Petra" to the workbench.... She turned and and flounced off in a cloud of glitter shouting
" Where the hell do I have to go to get the attention I deserve"...
"I told you she was high maintenence"...
Meanwhile....
in the US...
Reported to police that she was also approached by "Miss Petra" begging to accompany her on her next Stripping Gig at The Old folks Home...
"Yes" said Roxy...when interviewed by police... "She seemed like such an eager gal too... Turned up toting a gun and saying she was travelling incognito... which of course didn't phase me... it is hunting season...
In this game you have to maintain some feminine intreague... and them Old Fellers can get a bit over excited at times...
We argued over who would take star billing....
Of course... she wanted to be the head liner...
So I told her to hit the road...
She ran off screaming something about reminding her of "Krystal " and that she'd meet me later by the fountain...
Well she herself wern't no "Alexis"...
Gal Never did show up though".....
In latest developments...
Further sightings Of "Miss Petra"
are comming in from that great land Downunder known for attracting Diva's on the Lam...
Stay tuned for the next exciting episode...
My evil twin is really on a world tour!
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile I am working back in London.
Is Petra running through the cemetery in yellow wellies?
ReplyDeleteThe Infomaniac House of Beauty refuses to enlarge Petra's lips after the last time when later she claimed her big lips were chafing her when she walked.
Dear Petra
ReplyDelete"My evil twin is really on a world tour!
Meanwhile I am working back in London."
Well she doe seem to be getting about a bit!
What was that about working on your back Dear?
Dear MJ
"Is Petra running through the cemetery in yellow wellies?"
No I think the shot was captured on slo mo like on Baywatch...
"The Infomaniac House of Beauty refuses to enlarge Petra's lips after the last time when later she claimed her big lips were chafing her when she walked."
Well that is quite understandable.
Petra is the Queen of high maintenence after all!
Sorry MJ The wellies do appear to be yellow... yes... I hadn't noticed... But it could have been Worse
ReplyDeletePerhaps she's fleeing some rising damp?...
Bugger...Worse
ReplyDeleteHEY! It's honest work.
ReplyDeletePS couldn't possibly be me, as I don't own or wear wellies let alone yellow wellies.
Honest to god.
Petra's evil twin is a crafty one. A trimmed bush will make her impossible to pick out in a police lineup by the cemetery witnesses.
ReplyDeleteThe suspense is mounting!
Just where are the Ant Hill Mob when you need them?!
ReplyDeleteDamn it, she got away just before I could get her to bend over...
ReplyDeleteApologies.
Sx