Thursday, January 27, 2011

If the Shoe Fits...

Steal it Dhaarlings....


It seems that our Dear Danish Diva "Cyber Petra" is on the run...

"Miss Petra" is currently touring and starring in her reprised role of "Fanny"

in Rogered and Hammererhard's Musical "Fanny on a Swing"

Sources reveal that Miss Petra was suddenly unable to continue with her High Flying Performance... Last evening... The role of Fanny was performed by understudy "Little Miss K"
When interviewd Miss K stated
 "Nah...mate... dunno what appened to 'er... but shit I was good up there ay... never tought you'd see my fanny on a swing did ya?"

It became apparerent on further investigation... that the role
 provided the perfect cover for Miss Petra to her more secretively seductive intent.

To purlon the latest Louboutin Collection!

Police revealed that CCTV evidence places Miss Petra at the scene of the crime on the night in question.
A release fom the CCTV shows Miss Petra overseeing the procurement of the remainder of the collectionwith her trusted driver and part time petty thief "Monty the Mouth".

Of course the old Jimmy Choos were off like a brides nightie...

Police investigators alleged that Miss Petra had been recognised by store owner and purveyor of fine footwear "Mr Alonso Alfonso"  having been captured on security video surveillance in his store earlier that day.

"How was I to know she was casing the joint?" Mr Alfonso said...
"And she seemed so nice too"

Pleeease.... Mr Alfonso... Dhaarling...

 Tell me you couldn't see the Elephant in the room...

There are reports of Miss Petra being sighted outside Frank's Bar in Norwitch England...

Patrons of the Bar stated that they saw a woman fitting Miss Petra's description waving frantically through the window trying to attract the attention of two patrons inside 

Regular "Mr Johno Fark" of Norwitch described the scene...

"Well you see there was this bird in a black cat suit at the window jumping up and down and waving her arms about. Nearly fell off her Louboutins she did, trying to get the attention of these two sitting huddled over coffees banging on about bitches and nymfermaniacs and such.
 The bloke like... He was very tall, gorgeous looking and Hot! The Bird he was with was a good looker too... Smelt like roses... with a hint of hoummus I think... Anyways..
The two of em were too involved in intimate gossip to notice the bird at the window and her desperate cries for attention... Couldn't unerstand a word she were saying though... the whole time... Must a been foreign or summat"...

Police investigations continue...


  1. Oh bless 'er, I 'ope she gets away wiv it! Go, Petra, go!

  2. LIEZ! All LIEZ! I say!

    In other news, I'd like to thank Christian Louboutin for the amazing footwear they keep sending me. And of course my private jet company. Name not disclosed.

  3. I've got to get to Norwich. Seems like a happening place!

    Oh Hai Miss Scarlet & Pete!

  4. Oh my gods! So that's what all the commotion was.

    Can't wait for more, Princess.

    Hai Miss Scarlet, 'Petra & xl!

  5. Norwich is that where Delia Smith Hails from?

  6. She leaves a trail of glitter wherever she goes so the police should have no problem.

  7. @Mitzi: Well, Delia does own a majority share in Norwich City Football Club, or so I'm led to believe. But I think she actually lives in Suffolk somewhere...

  8. Yep, it's all fo-cussing down to Norwich ...